Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Good morning

Back home after my 4th admission and I feel like it is starting all over again. The Groundhog Day feeling I had in the clinic seems to have crossed over to a Groundhog “After Clinc” feeling. Yes, I have learnt new skills and changed my meds and I am by far not as stunned to go to the real world than after my first admission, but everything feels unreal, overwhelming and overrated. My new favourite word is ‘overrated’. I use it for pretty much anything.

Diet and exercise. Baby steps 😞 once again 😞

[Former-Member]

Hello,

First contacts with the real outside world, phone queues, shopping, doctors visits (non psych), looking at education, jobs and houses, trying to put things in place... has dragged me back into my hole and I try to stay calm and focussed, using my skills. But everything is really overwhelming at times. I wish I could just be happy and this hideous illness was over, but it’s not and my mind is playing cruel tricks on me. I seem to get messages of being over it, getting over it, complete ignorance... and my appointments with my care team have all moved... I keep trying to tell myself babysteps - breathe - babysteps, BUT being home just holds up the mirror straight in my face, showing me what an unwanted (by some) complete failure I am. My professional life is shattered, I’ve gone from fit to fat and unhealthy, my credibility is pretty low as I cannot follow through on heaps and all I want to do is hide in my bed - but then that doesn’t help either anymore as I cannot SLEEP! The few hours I get every night are drug induced, my mind just goes round and round, round and round.

How have you coped with the reality after hospital?

[Acacia]

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds like it’s been a difficult week. Adjusting to a new environment can be overwhelming at the best of times. Although it’s hard and might feel like starting over, it sounds like you have some good strategies: staying calm and focused, using your skills and looking after your physical health. That sounds like a good start to me

@outlander has posted about “life after hospital” here and received some helpful tips from other members including @Queenie and @oceangirl. I understand @Eden1919 and @BlueBay have also been in hospital and might be able to relate to your experience.

I hope your day gets better @Former-Member

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

thanks @Acacia for the tag 🙂

When I came out of hospital (i had 4 admissions last year) I would take it easy.  Although i did have to go back to soon as soon as i got home.  but with the family/house stuff i did take things one at a time.  i didn't push myself too much.  

It is hard when you come home from hospital because in hospital everything is done for you, meaning cooking.  you are given your meds, you have group therapy to go to. there isn't much you really have to do apart from get up and shower.

You need to take baby steps and try not to be so hard on youirself.  Maybe yoiu're doing too much all at once, do you think?

You're not a failure at all.  You're just getting used to life outside of hospital.

Happy to chat more if you like.

BB xxoo

[Former-Member]

Thank you for the info @Acacia

I spent a while in hospital and home seems strange and overwhelming. But it also reminds me on everything that I am not - anymore. It just seems to be the wrong place. I was so excited to go home and now I just feel out of place.

Hi @BlueBay Thank you for your message. I’m trying to take it slow and easy and I colour in a lot and try not to do too much. But I feel lost. I try to pinpoint what i don’t like in life, as i just feel ‘life’s not worth it’ and I don’t want to go down that road anymore. I was scared about keeping myself safe when I left hospital and I think that was more important to me than anything else there. When I was really upset in hospital I would look at my safety plan and continuously tell myself that hospital is a safe place.

I’m just really confused about being home.

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member i dont think it matters how many addmissions youve had it is still hard coming back out. 

its weird being on the outside isnt it. so you know the basics being eat well, exercise, sleep, keeping seeking supports, but is there anything in particular that your struggling with the most? 

taking baby steps, knowing some of your limits and trying to take things slowly and one step at a time i think is top priority. it took me almost a week to even get back into a routine let alone organise study etc. 

remember to breathe and just 'be' for abit too, recognise what youve gone through and know that its ok to go slowly 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member - yes i can definitely relate to that feeling of overwhelm and the 'strangeness' of being home. When i came out of hospital though I also had to move house and it was very stressful in itself though i had a support worker who helped. But nothing felt 'right' and because i'd also suddenly stopped working i felt completely lost and without direction. I think setting goals helped a bit (major one was being able to get back to work, which took a year). first goal i guess was surviving and getting into some sort of new 'normal' routine. It does happen and things do settle. As others have said, be gentle with yourself and keep leaning on supports as you need to to continue getting well. Take care