Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

oh my gosh 1 already!! where has the time gone! i bet she is such a cutie too.
have you and your daughter got any plans on what to do tomorrow @BlueBay

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay Here for you too BB 

[Rockpool]

Hi @BlueBay,

It sounds like it would be better if you contacted the help centre so you can talk things through when you are ready.

[BlueBay]

I’ve just written some things about Ayla on other post. Baby news. @outlander

[BlueBay]

Ok @Rockpool i will. Thankyou 

[Zoe7]

Hey @BlueBay. I can see tonight how hard you are working to get through things for you - you are posting here, reaching out for support and asking for help - that is very brave of you to do.

I need to apologize whole-heartedly for hurting you last night. That was not my intention but I can see why that post did. There is nothing that you could do that would change how I feel about you or the very real friendship we have developed on here so don't for one minute think I will abandon you - you mean too much to me to do that Hon 

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @Zoe7 

it means a lot to me to hear that you won’t sndndon me (crying) 

I know you understand how painful abandonment is to me. 

Thankyou for being so honest and I accept your apology. I’m sorry if I upset you or worry you when I write things. It’s never my intention. 

I just don’t want to lose our friendship. 

You mean a lot to me. 

I’m really struggling tonight. I’m going to have a good talk with my doctor tomorrow morning. 

Hope we can move on from this. 

Take care lovely and I’ll let you know how I go st the doctors tomorrow. 

Sleep well ❤️❤️

[Zoe7]

There is nothing to move on from Hon - it's all good   I am here with you and will be whenever I can for you. I get how it is not personal when you write like that - that is something I should have know last night - it is 100% my fault that I made you feel like that and for that I am truly sorry @BlueBay

Please let me know how your doctor's appointment goes tomorrow - and let me know how you are. I hope you get some sleep tonight BB. Goodnight my little yellow flower 

[Zoe7]

Wishing you goodluck for you appointment this morning @BlueBay I hope your GP tskes notice of you and can hel you Hon 

[BlueBay]

Hi @Zoe7@outlander@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope 

i saw my doctor and sat down and cried. I told him I’m not coping I’m angry and wanted to self harm and wanting to die. He just watched and listened. I then told him some truths. I’ve syopped my night meds. I wanted him to know. He asked why and I replied because I don’t want to take them. He said “no there’s more to it tell me”. I then sobbed and told him it’s my self sabotage. He totally agreed. He urged me to take my meds snd once I’m doing better he and my psych will decide when to stop them. 

I have promised him that I’ll stsy busy tiday. And go fir a walk. 

He wants me to ring him this afternoon to touch base. Snd back to seeing him fortnightly. 

I thought of ways to self harm and end it all last night. But then I sobbed so much I fell to sleep. 

Im such a mess.