Lived Experience Forum

[Mazarita]

Sorry, @CheerBear. I got mixed up and thought mine was the last post in our conversation! Early morning brain a bit confused. 

While that was (not) happening, I sorted out the trip to the Department of Motor Transport. Took quite a bit of working out! Have now found that I can make it just one bus ride, though it only goes every hour. Sorted out time to go and return, yay me with the buses these days. 

Hearing you on the funny relationship with driving. I am actually phobic about it these days. As a fortunate side effect, I am actually happy now I don't have a car or want to drive. Much less expense this way. It would make my life much more difficult financially if I had one. And, because a car is not crucial to my life, I enjoy the better environmental aspects of using public transport, and also just getting out and about in a public context within this community. 

Your day sounds like a good one too. 

[CheerBear]

Yay you with buses @Mazarita! And that it is only the one bus today.

The expense (lack of it) of not having a car is a great side effect as it can be a big one 😏 I have had some big anxiety/panic attacks driving before and can see how it could turn into a phobic kind of fear. I'm not a huge fan of being a passenger with many people either though so catch 22 when it comes to cars and driving a bit. These days I like being in control of the wheel probably more than I do handing it over to someone else.

It's bucketing down here this morning and cool - so nice after some hot and humid weather!

I better head off and get some crew moving. Nice to bump into you in real time again and to hear how you're going. Often thinking of you and wondering about that one. Hope today goes well for you ❤

[Mazarita]

@CheerBear, I'm the same as a passenger, though getting better lately, I've noticed. Still, I mostly avoid being in a car if I can help it. I used to be a confident driver but lost that when I didn't drive for some time due in considerable part to C somehow taking over that seat in the car we shared earlier on, and me not really challenging him on it. It was probably also because those years were particularly tough ones for me with mental health, though I didn't realise how bad things really were at the time. Those were the days when I was known to sleep 20 hours a day for long periods of time. So good that the worst of those times is mostly behind me for now. It's been a slow, baby-step process getting this far from there. Despite whatever ups and downs I still have, overall life looks much brighter to me now, has more colour and interest.

Nice that you have the buckety rain after heat. I'm logging off now too. Have a wonderful day, dear heart. 

[Teej]

Just checking in, feeling pretty ashamed of my behaviour from last night. It was a 0-90 one in a few minutes 😔.  groggy but ok after my 13 hr sleep. 

Will be ok. Thanks for your kind wishes @CheerBear, @Mazarita

[CheerBear]

Good to see you @Teej ❤

I've been thinking of you this afternoon. I was hit with some ouch feelings randomly in the last hour or so and got stuck thinking about the last few weeks. I started looking through emails from here from when I was going 0-90 (which I call zero to a million) and trying to hold on to the warmth, acceptance and kindness that you and others gave to me in a huge way, trying to give some to myself this afternoon.

So here's some for you ❤💕❤ hoping that it can help shame move aside a bit because it is so not needed.

Big hugs for what triggered 0-90 and for the post 90 crash which doesn't feel good. Glad you'll be OK. With you until you get there (and beyond) 💗

[Teej]

So sorry you’ve gone through that too this afternoon @CheerBear. Sorry not many words just yet. 

[CheerBear]

Sorry @Teej. I re-read that and it came out not the way I'd hoped. It wasn't supposed to be about me having a not great afternoon but about how it's OK to go 0-90, to feel the rollercoaster feels and to vent and spill. They're all things you've reminded me of and things I wanted to remind you of too.

Hope your evening goes OK. Hugs.

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @CheerBear, @Teej, anyone around at this early time. Just leaving this message here to see if it gets a response for a possible real-time chat. Fresh feelings on this new day to all. 

[outlander]

@CheerBear ❤
@Mazarita ❤
@Teej ❤

[CheerBear]

Morning @Mazarita and anyone who might be up also.

Missed you yesterday morning Mazarita so stopping by to say good morning and am thinking of you as I watch the sky and listen to the trees.