Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[querentxyz]

What is your relationship like with sleep? Does anyone have any tips or tricks about good sleep?

I am staying away from home alone, and last night I had the first good sleep I have had in months, and it made such a difference! My mind is more clear and lively and I feel like I have a sense of humour.

One thing I do is that I stay up way too late trying to get alone time after the hectic day, so regularly I only get 4 hours of sleep a night! But I find it very difficult to sleep anyway, as I lay awake for hours worrying or feeling resentful. I am no stranger to insomnia and at times it was very bad.

I really want to talk about something I have noticed over the years, which is the state between awake and asleep. It is when my inner monologue goes from being a coherent single voice, to being diffused and diffracted. A lot of nonsensical and unrelated thoughts and pictures start flickering through my mind, instead of just one rational voice. It's almost a dreamlike or hypnotic state when I am just flowing along with the bizarre thoughts, and I know as soon as I go into that state I will go to sleep very soon, but I'm not sure exactly how to deliberately put myself into that state.

I have been trying to get into this state by focusing on sensory things and I think it helps. Sometimes there is a noise somewhere in my environment that is faintly droning on and I tune in to it. Sometimes I say the same words again and again in my mind, like a mantra, like "Sleep soon, sleep soon, sleep soon, sleep soon". Sometimes I remember the voice of someone who has talked to me during the day and I let it drone on in my mind. I relax all of the little muscles around my eyes and forehead (there are many), and I try to feel how heavy my body is on the bed. I've sort of being trying to fiddle with the right combination of things to put myself into a state that will lead to sleep.

Do others have any thoughts or stories about sleep, whether what I have written, or experiences in general? Thank you

[Appleblossom]

I have had many different sleep phases.

When I was a young mum, I can remember falling asleep doing the washing ... maybe it was only 20 mins .. and waking up with the 2 under 2 crawling on the floor and my piles a little mucked up.

I went through inmoniac times and then later it was like I had narcolepsy.  All undiagnosed and untreated as my sleep needs were last on the agenda for discussion at my counselling and NEVER brought up. 

When I mention to some about sleep debts etc ... they are very skeptical but nevertherless .. the science seems to say its true.

[CherryBomb]

@querentxyz that experience you describe of where there is state of nonsensical thoughts and unrelated thoughts sounds like the moment just before you slip into sleep. One thing someone told me was focusing on going to sleep is like watching water while waiting for it to boil. Instead, I've been told to shift focus on breathing.

I've had experience with insomnia a few years back when I was going through a stressful period. What I found helpful was establishing a sleep routine. Here's some advice that I followed:

• If possible, go to bed at the same time every night. This will help your body's cycle get into a routine.
• Estabish a down-time routine before going to bed. Something that relaxing, such as reading a book.
• Avoid doing anything that might be stimulating. Sceens (e.g., TVs, lap-tops, and mobile phones) should be avoided. The content and the light can be stiumlating. 
• Go to sleep (lights out) when you start to feel tired. If you go to be when you still feel wide awake, it'll be hard to fall asleep and your mind will start to associate your bed as a place of non-rest. If you have not fallen asleep within 20 minutes, get back up and do more down-time activities. 
• Only do bed stuff in bed, avoid doing anything else in there such as work, watching television, writing emails etc. Similar to the above point, your mind might associate your bed as a non-resting place.

Years later, I rarely have any issues with sleeping now. I also did a mediation course a fews years back, which I now find really useful if I'm finding it diffcult to sleep. I actually had the reverse issue when I was doing the medication course - found it hard to stay awake! So it's my go-to remedy when I'm having difficulties falling asleep. Hope this helps!

Rest up!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @querentxyz @Appleblossom @CherryBomb

The piece of advice my mother gave me was "pretend you're asleep until you are ..."

It sounds really simple, but it is effective.  I tell my kids to do that even now ...

To pretend you're asleep - and it helps to imagine that you are trying to convince someone else that you are actually asleep - you need to lie very still, breathe deeply, rhythmically and slowly, keep your eyes closed and unmoving, relax all your muscles, etc.

Especially if you are very tired, I find that is all the invitation your body needs ❣

If you are not very tired and have a restless mind, I find it helps to discipline the restlessness and calm it down much faster, particularly if you redirect your thoughts to imagining being in a favourite place relaxing, like on a warm sandy beach, or in a log cabin in front of a warm fire ....

❤️

[Acacia]

Hey @querentxyz, how is the sleep going? Have you found an effective way of getting into that pre-sleep state that you described in your first post; or did you get a chance to try out any of the suggestions above?

To add to others' suggestions, when I have trouble sleeping, I find it helps to remind myself that just lying in bed for eight hours is restorative, even if I'm not actually asleep the whole time. That can help me to feel less stressed about the fact that I'm not sleeping. That's just something that works for me. There are some more tried and tested tips about sleeping in this SANE blog which you might find helpful.

[querentxyz]

I liked all the suggestions. I have actually been having a very easy time sleeping lately. I am currently housesitting in an apartment alone, things are going very well for my mother, she needs help but she is keeping up with her GP, counselling, and medication, and she doesn't need my help as much. Mostly I seem to get into bed and go straight to sleep without any troubles.

I did read a really interesting technique on the internet that I was trying for a while. It said that there is a key to breathing that will make you go to sleep faster, that is to do with changing the balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the brain. The article said that you should lie on your side and focus on taking slow, shallow diaphragm breaths that maintain a low level air hunger that is not uncomfortable. It said that your extremities will get warmer, and your nasal mucosa will irrigate slightly, and then you will fall asleep pretty quickly. I tried this a couple of times when I was having a really hard time sleeping, after I was desperate enough to google "sleep fast!" or something like that. I have found that this works effectively, but I am interested to try it more. I do think that it is possible that flooding the brain with oxygen by the way we normally breathe keeps it active.

I thought a lot about whether this could actually harm the brain, but I don't think so, because it's not breath holding, and when you sleep the brain will maintain the breathing as it normally would. Well anyway, this is just something I have been thinking about, I have no idea of whether it is actually good or not, but I think it's interesting to think about. I may try reading more about it later.

[Karren]

Love this. I do pretend really well and sing myself lullaby or say the Lord's prayer many times and find myself woken up in the morning..

[Jane9]

I dont think writing on this forum is helpful at 4 30 am. I've now just had an hour of not trying to sleep and looking at an electronic device! 😃 journaling can be good before you go to sleep though to get the worries and thoughts out if you have trouble falling asleep. I'm now testing out a hormonal drug to try to keep me asleep more than 6 hours. I sometimes wonder if I wake up just to give myself some private time to write and reflect and get some space alone. I think is better give sleep another chance.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Jane9, @querentxyz, @Karren, @Acacia, @CherryBomb

Does anyone have any tips or tricks about good sleep?

That is a good question ??

[Former-Member]

I have chronic insomnia and i usually only get around 4 hrs sleep a night. I do have a few suggestions although everyone is different so what might work for some might not work for others but here are some suggestions

1. Have a regular sleep routine
2. Instead of being on an electronic device try reading a book or a magazine that you like
3. Try some deep breathing, meditation or muscle relaxation techniques such as a body scan to help get your body and mind to relax
4. Maybe go to your gp and get some mild sleeping tablets or try a naturopath for some herbal suppliments. They have a range of different things that you can take sometimes its as simple as adding a magnesium suppliment to your diet
5. Maybe try going for an afternoon stroll and juat take in the sights around you.

Hope these help 🙂