Lived Experience Forum

[Isla]

I own my unit but so many stressful issues with strata have taken me to breaking point and I want to sell and move away. But... anxiety is overwhelming me. I don’t have any family and pretty much on my own. Real estate companies want to sell ‘their’ way which involves advertising and displaying photos on the net, local advertising and open house etc. I’m a private person and don’t want my neighbors who I’ve had issues with being privy to my home and life. My psychologist has taken up a different job and unavailable. I’m struggling to keep a clear perspective stay sane. Some support would be welcome!!

[girl99]

Hi @Isla

I totally understand your anxiety. I need to sell my house for a similar reason to you, I dislike my snoopy mean neighbours and I don't like living in a strata community. I don't want an open house either.  I don't know if I am in a good financial position to sell a unit and then be able to afford to move to a house though. I worry I will always have to live in strata apartment living.  My neighbours are awful and the stress they cause me is very high. One neighbour continually plants flowers and shrubs on my lawn and I've repeatedly asked her not to but she thinks it is her property or something and ignores me and keeps doign it.  I live with extremely inconsiderate and rude people and I need to escape to reduce my stress and anxiety.

I googled a few things and it looks like there are real estate agents who don't do open houses - they only show by invitation only to interested buyers who are pre vetted beforehand.  This might be the sort of thing you could ask about?

Maybe call up a few agents and enquire? Or go online if you have anxiety and search around for agents near you that you like the look of and then maybe call them up and see if they can do home inspections by invitation only?  Don't bother meeting with them if they won't meet your needs, they take a big commission and they should do what the client wants!

I'd love to hear how you go! 

[Isla]

Thank you so much for your reply and support. It’s awful to hear your situation but nice to know someone who’s also having similar problems. Your home is meant to be your sanctuary, peaceful and a comfortable place to just ‘be’. I’v tolerated living in my current place for almost two decades with the same fears you share about moving. But if you’re on government benefits you will be able to apply for rent assistance, which isn’t available to home owners on benefits.

I’l take on board your advice about agents but with anxiety I like the idea of having control over the process but having strangers contacting me and looking through my home is going to very difficult and is a big part of what’s put me off selling till now. I know someone who sold his unit within a week by advertising online social websites, presumably Facebook. I don’t know about doing that.
I’be been to a local politician to make enquiries about governing bodies to try and find out my rights and where I stand with the strata management and some fellow owners bullying and harassing. The SM says meetings can’t be held without the chairperson present. ??

It’s all very stressful and I’m not getting any sleep over it. Time to leave...

[Isla]

After managing a little sleep and reading through my first post I see that I glossed over issues with my strata Corp. Plain and simply the behaviour from several people has been verbal and emotional harassment.
After researching bullying and harassment last night I can see clearly that’s what it is. Repeated, aggressive, personal, intimidation, insults, subtle character attacks over many years, offensive, sum things up. They refuse to discuss the issue on the table and instead bring up personal issues from many years ago (ie leaving early from a meeting - due to relentless bullying from all the other people in the so called strata meeting).

These are all tactics to control me and shut me up. I see that now. Without a professional mediator I’m unwilling to subject myself to future meetings full of unprofessional conduct, personal put downs and aggression. I have never brought myself down to their level but when cornered I will defend myself.

I have had enough. I ‘m on the verge of breaking point. I don’t have much support and struggling to cope, I want to sell up I’m sure it’s the best solution all round but especially for me. I have nowhere to move to, no idea where to relocate to or how to fill my days in. I get why suicide rates are so high.

[Lauz]

Hi @Isla,

I am really sorry to hear how difficult things are with your home. Having that space feel stressful sounds very overwhelming for you. I hear that you feel stuck as although you would like to move, the process involved in that is making you feel highly anxious. 

I do hope that finding and being in this forum space can help you feel more supported and maybe even help you to make whatever decision you need. Seperate to the issue of your home and strata - can I ask if you have any self care strategies in place? Have you been able to reach out to another pyschologist perhaps? Maybe your pyschologist that has left could offer you some referals?

[girl99]

@Isla

Sorry to hear it has gotten so bad for you where you are, I really understand how awful it is as I am in a similar situation.....but maybe moving is a good idea and will open up a whole new world for you?   My neighbours are dirt bags and that's putting it nicely, so i know how it feels to just want to run away.

The first thing I need to do and you might want to do the same, is to get a valuation so you know roughly how much your house is worth.  Finding a good real estate agent I trust is the tricky bit.   I suggest you go along to a few open houses in your area and chat to the real estate agents there while you are looking at houses.  Even if the houses are not really what you are interested in, use it to see what the real estate agents are like. Are they nice and kind?  Do you feel comfortable with them?  Do they have a nice style and would you want them to sell your house?  At least you can check out some real estate agents and see if you like them and their style?  Make sure you get their business cards.  

Once you have found one or two that you seem to think are okay, can you maybe then ask them to come to your house and give you a valuation on what your home is worth?   that might be a good starting point? I don't like people invading my privacy so I know what a big deal it is to have people in your home.

It's so hard to know which real estate people are good or not, you could also ask around if anyone can recomend an agent to you?  so try to think of good ways to 'suss' them out 🙂