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Whim
Senior Contributor

Honesty- highs, lows, drink, drugs and pharmaceuticals

Hi,

So, the last time I went onto this forum was about 2 weeks ago. i wrote a poem, which I regretted the moment I awoke the next morning. 

For those of you who don't know me, I have apparently been diagnosed with Bi-polar and anxiety. I totally agree with depression and anxiety, but am unsure about the bi-polar part.

So, when I wrote the poem I was nearing the end of a short spat of happiness and joy. Yes I had more energy, enthusiasm, comedien etc within me, but was i 'up'? I don't think so....

Anyway. 

Get it out 'whim' I'm saying to myself, fingers spread like half spiders on the keyboard.

I know I am abusing alcohol. I can do several days in a row without a drop, but find it hard to stop. I don't drink when I'm depressed as I know it is a depressant etc, but when okay(ish) or 'happy' I do. I then can't wind down so take a prescription pill of at least three varieties (I have pain too) to help me relax enough to hopefully sleep.

I am addicted to pot, with tobacco, and know I so desperately need to quit.

I just wanted to be honest in the only place I feel I actually can be.

Thanks for reading.

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Honesty- highs, lows, drink, drugs and pharmaceuticals

Hi @Whim

 

I really like that poem - and now you have been so honest - I can see the background - 

 

Thanks for trusting us with the truth - you can - we are gentle people here

 

You know you need to get off the stuff you are taking - I can honestly say I have no idea what that is like but there are people here who do - and I think you know that being honest with yourself is the first step to getting clean

 

All the best Whim - I wish you the best and hey - I know when I read something that was worth writing - I think you have a great talent

 

Dec

Re: Honesty- highs, lows, drink, drugs and pharmaceuticals

@Whim Hi Whim I like the title of your post 'Honesty ...' it is a tough one for us all. After reading your post I thought long and hard as to whether I am honest and I just don't know. I could use this post as a confessional I suppose although the mods wouldn't like it. 

 

Here is something I am being honest about the board is full of friendly formites who appreciate everyone's poetry. Your poem was great and I look forward to reading another one when you are ready 🙂 greenpea

Re: Honesty- highs, lows, drink, drugs and pharmaceuticals

Hi @Whim That was a hard post for you to write, what a huge step. We will treat your honesty with respect and care. You know inside yourself what needs doing. Take care. Travelling along with you.

Re: Honesty- highs, lows, drink, drugs and pharmaceuticals

@Whim. Well done on sharing. Not always easy to do.

I abused alcohol for a long time. I still find it hard on days I'm happy, not to celebrate with a drink. But I drank everyday. NO. Doesn't help the Depression.

NO judgement here. Glad you felt comfortable sharing.

Wishing you all the best.

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