Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Susana]

Hi everyone, I am new toy the forum and would like some advice on how to deal with my elderly mother's delusions. She lives with me and my husband and child. She normally goes to my brother's house on weekends to give me and my family a break from care. She does not have dementia, but have always been an anxious person who has suffered with anxiety and depression on and off over the years. We lost dad suddenly in a traumatic fall at home nearly 2 years ago. Recently, she had a relapse of her anxiety and depression but this time, she has delusions that my brother has intentions of taking her away from my house to live with him and his wife permanently and that as a punishment for being "difficult" and nagging, would be locked up in their apartment all week with not food or medication while they go to work. No amount of convincing eases her paranoia. Now she wants to stay with me 24/7. Admittedly my brother did suggest that she could live with them if and when things got too hard for me to manage, but certainly would care for her needs eg food and meds etc.... I am worn out with her constant demands to stay with me or to find ways of getting her out of the "prison" at my brothers such as ringing the police if he doesn't bring her back to me at the end of the weekend..... How to break in if she's locked in etc.... My brother was hoping he could offer me help rather that locking her up and now, she is paranoid of eveb leaving my place in case he finds her and "takes her away"... She is taking medication to help with anxiety and delusions, but the recent increase in dose might take a couple if weeks to kick in. How do I cope in the meantime?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Susana

A quick hello and welcome, am on my way out but wanted to let you know you have been heard.

It is so very frustrating, you cannot reason with someone who us delusional.

Will be in touch later

Darcy

[Former-Member]

Hi @Susana
@Emmelle, @Sonny1 and @Catcakes are all carers if a parent and may be able to help you.

[Former-Member]

@merri also cares for her mum

[Former-Member]

Hi @Susana

My husband had an episode of psychotic depression where he became delusional; a very difficult time. Add in aging and I would imagine this presents further challenges.

How are things going?

Support is available through Carers Australia and other mental health groups that have carer programs.

[Susana]

Thanks for sharing @Former-Member, things are pretty tough. Waiting for the right mix /dose of medication to help mum's thinking to be more grounded in reality. Have organised for emergency respite on the weekend as I am at my wits end and need a break. 24/7 is really hard.

[Former-Member]

@Susana
I hope you do get some rest. It is tough going 24/7, meds too can be a worry, particularly in an aging person. I don't know what the go is with my aged care and the like in relation to getting some outside help. Have you been able to access anything?

[Susana]

Mum has 12 hours of home care which is a great help. She can also have residential respite but has not tried it yet. Because she is from CALD background, there are limited residential respite options while she is so anxious and confused.

[Former-Member]

Are you able to take time out while home care is about @Susana? Even with mum are you able to engage in any hobbies you have?

[Susana]

I can take time out when mum has home care. Mum doesn't like to engage with hobbies I have and even if she did, it's hard for her to stop verbalizing her anxieties over and over...