Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Supporting my husband through mixed grief.

I don't know how the next little while will go. Mr D comes from a family torn apart by paternal DV and sexual abuse allegations. 

Nevertheless, his father is his father and Mr D expressed a desire to visit him knowing that end of life was imminent. Based on Mr D's wishes we had made tentative plans but FIL passed away.   We will now arrange to go up to support Mr D's twin brother who cared for his father. Despite knowing that we need to come from interstate, twin bro has organised some sort of memorial service at his church without any discussion with us or the other family members likely to attend (who would also need to come from interstate too). It will be a push for us to get there and will likely stress Mr D if we need to rush.  Additionally, Mr D needs to speak to another brother in relation to the will as he may have some duties there. 

My dad was a loving, kind, gentle and wise man, the antithesis of Mr D's father.  Dealing with this is going to be different.

Mr D has not been doing so well. His injury has been playing up and a medically required med change has seen deterioration in his MH symptoms. 

I pray for strength, that I will be able to show love and that Mr D will be kind to his twin Bro (when unwell he can say things that are not thoughtful) and that Mr D will know that he is supported.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Holding you in the light @Former-Member .....

[Determined]

Praying @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope  @Determined 

Mr D is not coping well at the moment. I don't think he wants to go interstate now but has already sent a heap of  messages telling everyone we are going.  

He is anxious and irritable; his injury playing up, he was in terrible pain last night with it, he feels unwell mentally.

[Determined]

Extra prayers at the moment @Former-Member and hugs for you both. 

[Determined]

If you travel when do you need to leave?

Trust it goes as well as it can whatever you do.

[Former-Member]

Trying to sort it now @Determined 

[Former-Member]

@Determined Have just had to make decision and book flights so we make it to funeral. Mr D all in a pickle as a bit of a rush but he would regret not going.

[Determined]

Trust it all goes well @Former-Member

I can only imagine the anxiety. Will continue to pray for you both. 

[Former-Member]

Now things are sorted in relation to when we go and how long we stay, I am hoping Mr D will settle a little, managed to get him a phone consult with psychologist too so hopefully that was helpful to him. Hope we can negotiate family without any upset.