09-07-2018 08:51 PM
One step at a time @Darcy .....and remember to breathe .....
While it is anxiety-producing, and you’re worried, try to leave tomorrow’s issues to tomorrow beyond a reasonable preparation, which you have made .....
Will be thinking of you and holding you in prayer.
11-07-2018 06:31 PM
@Darcy continue to hold you and mr Darcy in prayer. Trust everything is as well as can be.
13-07-2018 08:55 AM
Things are a bit ordinary, interstate with FIL passing. Mr D showing no sorrow (to be expected) but completely emotionless, grumpy. Additionally he has had to make necessary decisions (as an executor) which affect a family member who failed to get their own affairs in order.
After asking about any family MI and being told there was none I found FIL was taking meds for mood. I said to Mr D if he wanted to ask his GP whether or not his father was Dx with BP but he sees no point in it.
14-07-2018 12:56 PM
sending you lots of hugs @Darcy
yes Mr shaz showed no sorrow , but completely emotionless, with his father passing
14-07-2018 01:11 PM
Thanks @Shaz51 Mr D's anxiey sky high, he is physically limited. Am having to keep an eye on paperwork as Mr D's cognitive deficits apparent to me (but not so much others - he hides it well)
I am pretty much stuck with the cleaning - fortunately it is relatively clean to start with - once the furniture and goods are picked up it will not be too difficult but cupboards were full of stuff which none of the family need so we have packed it ready for collection by Vinnie's but consideration has been given to one who is less fortunate and stuff has been set aside for them.
14-07-2018 01:21 PM
I am pretty much stuck with the cleaning-- that is hard @Darcy
with my FIL passing , we still have MIL in her house so life kinda went on , it will be different when MIL goes as all her children have depression , this is going to be hard
when FIL passed, as mr shaz is the only son , he has been given the sheds and contents , well everything is still in the sheds , nothing has been moved at all , ohh except the old mowers that mr shaz brought back to life
14-07-2018 02:02 PM
@Shaz51 as we are decluttering ourselves Mr D does not want a thing but we have taken a few small kitchen items - if we weren't from interstate and flying I reckon his mower might have been a wanted item 😀.
FILs place is a housing dept rental place, we have been given adequate time but Mr D wants to have it sorted before we head home - this means being handed back by next Friday.
15-07-2018 02:44 PM
We are pretty much sorted out FIL unit @Faith-and-Hope a couple of packages need to be posted to family members, then waiting for charity and second hand dealer to collect goods. After that it will be easier to clean.
I think the main problem for Mr D is feeling he is on his own - he is co-executor, the other no 1 of 6 not on site.
No 4 of 6 nearby - understandably had nothing to do with FIL.
No 6 of 6 (non identical twin) hardly has the capacity to manage himself let alone anything else. He stayed with FIL - caring for him - but think was thd other way round - trying to get him to understand he needs to move out asap is a nightmare. Feel a bit sorry for him. His marriage is an issue and he had been living with FIL but at beck and call of wife - he converted to a religious group that do not allow divorce. He brings out the worst in Mr D and it has not been pleasant, SIL thinks Mr D and twin are the same but they are very different but would not be surprised if he had BPii as well. I was thinking of ringing GP to inform re: FIL and perhaps see if he would be amenable to listening to concerns about 6 of 6.
15-07-2018 03:12 PM
Tricky @Darcy .... knowing how much difficulty we have had as spouse and immediate family trying to get understanding from doctors when there is no diagnosis .... wishing you lots of luck with that. Can’t think of anything else to suggest tho, and I would try anything just to know, if nothing else that you tried all avenues.
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