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[Till23]

Yes @Appleblossom I was never in bed before 11 or even midnight until very recently. I suppose since I retired I have a bit more time to do stuff before the evening, in which I previously had to fit in a lot, because had work the next day.

[AlwaysMyself]

Thats a good question re: newsletter timeline @Till23 . Would have to go check on the thread to see what the dates were, if they gave any. I reckon they would tag or email you though when theyre due??

No, im not involved other than as a reader. Not really sure what i would be able to contribute to it. Im not an artist or writer. 🤔

Other than if I wrote a funny embarrassing life event story for a smile. I have a few of those. Make people realise we *all* have some of *those* moments.

[Appleblossom]

https://youtu.be/pErF91a9rP0 

the girl in this is great, but also antsy @AlwaysMyself 

@Till23 @AuntGlow I like Bessel van der kolk. Dutch background, trauma theorist. I bought his book a few years back.

[AlwaysMyself]

@Appleblossom @Till23 i think ive always been an early-to-bed person. But I also had insomnia, so going to bed didnt mean going to sleep or staying asleep. 

But since not just living in the bedroom due to depression, I generally go to bed somewhere between 830-930 because I have chronic fatigue. Sometimes I do have later nights, but tends to catch up with me the next day.

[AuntGlow]

I am so sorry to hear this @AlwaysMyself... that sense of not having a voice, feeling disempowered, waiting for answers only to receive nothing can be so painful and disheartening. I am glad to know you are following up with them and also turning to our community for support. 

To shift the focus, have you let your inner child play at all this week? 🥰

And @Till23 @Appleblossom I came across that seminar and it looked amazing! What did you take away from it @Till23? 

I hear Gabor Mate is also talking on the 3rd day?

PS: @rav3n and @Ru-bee are all over the Newsletter! So if you have any questions, please ask them and they will be happy to help.

[Till23]

It sounds like you are in Victoria @AlwaysMyself 

It's been sunny here in the days, but when the sun goes down it gets a bit cold. I wouldn't have thought it's that cold, but I have felt cold, I thought maybe I was coming down with some thing - but apart fro extreme fatigue and cold, I have no other change in symptoms, it could be my weird inflammatory/immune thing.

It's a  very famous book in trauma - it's pretty much become THE trauma book. It helped me a lot in not feeling so alone about trauma symptoms I have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Body_Keeps_the_Score

Oh yeah, in the couple of years before I retired there were a lot of ridiculous contracts being offered to us, some where I think they had not read our job description and so the contract actually did not make sense as didn't really apply to our jobs!

I'm so glad that's over for me - I know that doesn't help you

[Appleblossom]

You probably get up early @AlwaysMyself I am retired.

Workplaces can have hard nosed managers 

Is it about roles, or remuneration or culture?

[Till23]

Yes @AlwaysMyself even though I go to bed late I also have early morning wakening and then use to have to get up for work, so I didn't ever get over 6hrs sleep at night and sometimes about 4hrs.

I didn't realise you ahd chronic fatigue. It seems to be fairly difficult for you, good on you for working even with these issues.

[Till23]

Hi @AuntGlow I tagged you over in an answer to you in my thread a couple of days ago, you probably didn't see it.

Anyhow Bessel was really saying similar things to what he has said before, but in different words I suppose. Nothing really new. Probably psychodelics will be the last thing he will really add to in the trauma field, since he is 82yo! He is amazing that he has been researching up to the age he has. Sometimes it helps to hear his anecdotes, because you think, oh yeah I do that or that's me and you realise it is a trauma response and you don't feel so alone.

Gabor also spoke a little  on the first day. I sometimes find him a bit confusing. He is also getting old though. It's a free thing so it's advertising his HEAL course which costs over $US1000, but you can still get something out of the free thing.

[AlwaysMyself]

@Till23 @Appleblossom 

I usually wake around 6am, but my alarm isn't until 630am.

Good thing about Wednesday night? I dont work thurs/Friday! I have an appt tomorrow, but not until lunchtime. So I can stay in bed later if I want. I just need to do laundry at some stage. 

The managers at work are good with this issue. Its a pay-rate inequality issue. And my boss was very supportive and backed me in submitting the query because it is not a fair clause. I get paid less than my coworkers for the exact same thing at the exact same time of day (night) for the exact same number of hours, except I get paid a lot less because I am not a fulltime staff member. The number of hours we work in total in a week is the only difference in our employment status, we are all permanent staff. But they get a higher allowance penalty rate for overnight work.

@AuntGlow i have been painting those gnomes. When I got home from work today I decided no house work tonight, only putting on TV in the background whilst painting. It was a distraction, but didnt shift my emotional hurt. 

I want to think up an interesting pattern to paint perhaps on the gnome hats, to make them a little more fancy.