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Something’s not right

Jessten
Senior Contributor

Confused

I need some advice. After struggling with my anxiety I finally made the decision to speak to my Dr about seeing a new psychologist. I struggled with this as I know the Dr through my job and didn't want to feel judged.  I have an apt with psychologist tomorrow and I'm freaking out. How do I talk to someone who I've never met? I generally freak our when talking to males so this kind of worries me  I recentky tried self harming but freaked myself out so don't know if it's something to bring up in my first apt as I don't want to b giving the wrong impression of who I am.

15 REPLIES 15

Re: Confused

hi @Jessten
will you be seeing a male psychologist? if that is something your not comfortable with its ok to ask to see a female.

the first session will be quite a few questions about you, your situation (like work studies) what brought you there (your troubles) etc. its mostly a get to know you session and if you let the psychologist know that your nervous (they will be able to see that) and tha your unsure of where to start they can help with that.

hope this helps.... and good luck for tomorrow

Re: Confused

Thank you I guess I'm just really nervous as the last time I spoke to male bout stuff like this he ripped into me. My Dr is male but I overcame my fear of being judged by him because I finally accepted the fact I can't do this anymore and Its ruining my life.

Thank you for your support and clearer understanding about what first session involves.

Re: Confused

Hi @Jessten.

I can understand your worry about your appointment today. I often feel very nervous whenever I have an appointment with someone new too and I can get really freaked out particularly around males. My experience with seeing new health professionals is similar to Outlander's in that the first time you meet it's usually about getting a history and an idea of what brings you to see them and where you're at currently.

I'm sorry to hear that you were 'ripped into' the last time you spoke with a male about stuff like this. That doesn't sound at all helpful or like anything anyone seeking help (or in general) should experience. I can imagine it's made this upcoming appointment even more scary.

Something that can help me when I'm in a situation where I feel nervous or anxious is to say that to the person straight up and to let them know that I might need to have a break or stop the appointment if it gets too much. Usually I find that the person I am speaking with helps me through those nerves by reassuring me in some way (by saying that if it's OK to say if something is too much or too hard etc.) I'm not sure if that's something that you'd feel comfortable saying or doing, but it's one of the ways I get through scary feeling appointments.

Wishing you the best with it today.

Re: Confused

Hi @Jessten thinking of you today. I think @CheerBear made a very good point about telling the psych upfront that you are very nervous. For what it's worth, I saw a male psychologist over 4 years ago at a time when I wanted nothing to do with men. He's brilliant and I am still seeing him. Not making any assumptions about how it will go for you, but try and reserve judgement and be open to a positive experience. Take care.

Re: Confused

Hi @Jessten

 

Hope things went well for you. Let us know how you go. Thinking of youxx

Re: Confused

So I made the apt and distracted myself by watching tv. When in the apt I was apprehensive at first but once I sat down It was nothing like I had ever experienced. The psychologist kept telling me different stories of ppl he had dealt with and how each town he had was the reason ppl had anxiety. E.g. one town everyone had anxiety because of aluminium. He told me that I need to look in a mirror and yell at myself I'm not going to b anxious anymore. I haven't made another apt as I'm unsure what to do. I felt as tho I didn't really resolve anything at all except admit that I feel ppl wouldn't miss me if I wasn't here

Re: Confused

Hi @Jessten.

Well done on making it to that appointment, especially considering how anxious you were feeling. In my experience it can take more than one session working with someone to sort things out. Did the psychologist give you any other tips on managing your anxiety, or strategies to try?

Sorry to hear you say people wouldn't miss you if you weren't around. That sounds like a pretty lonely and depressing kind of feeling maybe.

Re: Confused

No he just told me that there is no such word as try when I Said I would try it. I hate mirrors and Told him I won't look in one normally. He told me i was weird when I Said I can shop on my own. I guess I'm at the point now where I'm stuck. I grew up staying at home and not socialising that was me and I was happy. Now ppl say it's not normal well to me if I want to go out it should be my decision. I feel as tho the friends I do have use me when they want something so if I wasn't here it wouldn't b a bad thing. There's a song atm I relate to so well about feeling as tho everything around me us caving in and no one can help but it's not in me to act on my thoughts. I will go back but I'm really worried about what he will say

Re: Confused

hi @Jessten
if you put an @ symbol at the front of the members name you can tag them.

it sounds like a strange session, how do you feel after it? do you feel comfortable around him? were you able to express your thoughts without feeling judged? these are all questions to ask yourself in wondering whether he is the right fit for you (your allowed to change if you dont feel comfortable around them etc)

personally i dont think yelling at myself in the mirror would be effective. and there is such a things as trying to me. giving something a go whether you succeed or find something not for you then that is fine and it is trying.


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