Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

@Former-Member im just so glad to hear from you. I was extremely worried.
I had to edit thr previous poat as i found aome pics you might like but you wont be able to see them as yet. Have to clear first.
Juat wanted you to know ive read your post. Ive got to head to second work now so will reapond abit later.
Big hugs xoxo ❣❣❣

[Former-Member]

I’m so sorry about what has happened @Former-Member

I certainly do understand the grief, distress and pain. 

No wonder you are in shock. 

You did the right thing in telling your daughter that she is hurting you and her father by her behaviour. She needs to know this. It’s not fair that you are suffering so much and she had no clue. 

It would be agonising watching her go through such terrible things. 😢

Not fair for your daughter either. 

I understand the pattern of domestic violence. 

I think you are the right in “letting go” of her if she decides to go back to this creep. 

As hard as it will be, I believe you are making the right decision. 

I pray she’ll get the help she needs. 

Love and hugs to you. 

💜💖💜💖💜💖💜💖

🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸

[Former-Member]

Good evening @Former-Member@outlander@Appleblossom@Former-Member

Please do pray @Former-Member that my daughter gets the help she needs. She is very unstable and this is her only hope now. I have been crying all day - the emotional pain/grief becoming somewhat unbearable, but have managed to compose myself at the moment. 

To think last year my daughter was trying so hard to make me proud, to be better. I honestly didn't think she could reverse back to this again - but I did fear another abusive ex would unravel her. I have been thinking about it, she was provoked, but she could of driven away. She is guilty there. I have to accept now that the chances of her changing now are slim - and that she will more than likely end up in jail one day. That also my remaining life here has turned into a life sentence as well due to no fault of my own. The pain is great - but my faith to carry on has to kick in somewhere. I just have to work out how to do it. My husband this time can't help me. He is going through it himself. Apart from you all I am totally alone. That is the really hard part. It Can be very frightening - but I remind myself it isn't Forever. 

Life is not fair is it?

Only last week my spirits were lifted, my health on the improve and my hopes for a good life and attaining my dreams so close. So the choices I have been making - the leap of faith I took was really helping me to heal and making my life so much better. It was becoming very positive. Then one week later I lose my best friends and my daughter in one hit. No warning. All I did was love them the best I knew how. I think this makes it harder to cope with even the more.

I feel life tries me beyond my limits, sometimes I just can't bear the pain a moment longer. I can't work out why - I just know that it wasn't my fault. But I nearly made it. And that's not to say others can't do the same and succeed. Doesn't mean they can't make it and obtain happiness.  I have just had much misfortune because of the poor choices of my daughter. And others have disrupted my life in the most painful way. But I am sure I am not alone in that. It's just that I have no support other than here - something I will have to seek to try and change. I am only one person, strong but human. I need a good social worker and will try and find one.

Truly this life for me now is darkness - but I will still try and find some good somewhere and hold on to it the best I can. I just hope I can still do my volunteer work. Please pray for me my friends - I will need the strength.

I hope you are all relaxing this evening. Please let me know how you are doing too regardless, as I am always here for you too. Sending much love xxx

[Former-Member]

Oh @Former-Member, that is so sad. No .. life is most definitely not fair! And, no ... none of this is any fault of yours.

I am happy to pray for your daughter, and even more so for you. It saddens me that you feel you are doing this all on your own. Yes your husband is going through this dreadful situation too, but it makes him all the better placed to offer the understanding and support that you need. Dont close yourself off from him as that would be detrimental to both of you.

I too hope you can continue your volunteer work. I think its an important distraction, and an escape from your current worries. This is something I think you need right now. So please try to continue with it if at all possible.

Returning the love ...

Sherry ❤

[outlander]

@Former-Member you poor thing. Ive no idea on what to say thatll help but ill be keeping you in my thoughts and sending you my best wishes.
I really hope you continue your volunteer work I know that is something you enjoy and would be good for you to be in a more pleasant environment.
Big hugs 💙💚💛💜❤

[Former-Member]

Thank you dear @Former-Member and @outlander - I will try and keep up the volunteering. Presently I am feeling week from the blow and grief, so I may have a break next week to catch my breath and return the week after. It does do me good and people seem to appreciate me there which makes me feel happy. I like connecting with people.

Thank you for your care @Former-Member about me doing this all on my own. My husband can't help me as he is feeling down too and he can't hear about it much now. So I really am alone at the moment. I suppose if I can ge through this alone, I can get through anything. It would be so comforting to talk to someone over coffee, talk, listen and have a laugh - wish I knew you Sherry and outlander. 

I am not even sure what is happening with our move now - whether we will go through with it or sell up and move interstate. Just not sure what the future will bring. 

How are you both going? Always thinking of you xxx ❤️

[Former-Member]

Yes @Former-Member to meet up in real life for a chat over coffee or lunch would be so nice. ☕🍕🍜  In reality I am guessing you're only about 3 hours drive from me. So try to think of me extending a long arm of friendship all that way to you. 

I'm sorry that your house move may now also be in jeopardy. The photos of the area that you posted only a few days ago looked idylic. Interstate ... really? Do you have other relatives or friends interstate? If not, I dont understand why you would leave the area you're in now. Are you attempting to run away in an attempt to leave your troubles behind? Unfortunately it doesnt usually work. 

Thanks for asking after me. Yes, I'm okay thanks. 💕

Sherry

[Former-Member]

Yes it would be about 3 hours drive - so close!! Reaching my arm out to meet yours my friend 😊 I have moved around a lot most of my life - possibly I am thinking of escape. My husband also mentioned a place 2 hours up North, so we may have a look there also. Somewhere near the sea with some money left over in our pocket. It's all up in the air at the moment.

My daughter just sent me a message tonight saying she won't be home tonight. I asked her where she is. And she mentioned she wasn't at the boyfriends place. I did say to her that was a good thing otherwise I would ask her to leave as she is doing the wrong thing and we can't take anymore.  She didn't answer. I think she is there and I have reached my tether with her. We can't keep going through this. If I stay in this area, which I do love, she may keep coming back maybe.........will have to think more on it.

So glad to read that you are okay my dear friend. I enjoy our chats and think of you all the time. Sending you all my love ❤️

[Former-Member]

Praying @Former-Member

No, life isn’t fair. 

Im so tired that I don’t know what to say. 

I know everything seems hopeless at the moment, but the darkness will go. 

💜💖💜💖💜💖💜💖💜☕️💖🌸

[Former-Member]

My phone is going flat too. 

So I might not be able to be on here long. Not sure if you’re still here, @Former-Member

Might have to catch you another time. 

I wish things were easier for you. 

💜💖

Nighty night everyone. 💜