Hi there,
You are definitely not alone in this. I have done similar stress habits in rough seasons, and the shame afterwards can feel almost worse than the behaviour itself.
Please try not to turn this into “what is wrong with me?” It sounds more like your mind and body found a quick way to release pressure during a really hard year. The problem is that the relief is short, then the shame kicks in, and then the shame can create more stress, which keeps the cycle going.
Maybe the first step is to get curious rather than cruel with yourself. Notice when it happens. Is it when you are tired, anxious, sitting in bed, watching TV, scrolling, in the bathroom mirror, or after a stressful conversation? Once you know the pattern, you can start changing the pattern.
A few practical things that might help are keeping your hands busy, using a stress ball or fidget item, putting your hair up, wearing a cap at home, putting plasters on your fingertips, moving away from mirrors, or setting a tiny goal like “I will wait five minutes before I pull.” Even delaying the urge is progress.
I would also really encourage you to mention it to your GP or a psychologist if you can. Hair pulling can be linked with something called trichotillomania, and it is treatable. You do not have to white knuckle this or shame yourself into stopping.
You are not disgusting. You are not weak. You are stressed and looking for relief. Now you just need kinder tools that do not hurt you afterwards.
One urge at a time. One day at a time. You deserve support with this.
