Lived Experience Forum

[DGoldman]

Hi everyone 

my question is - how do you make big life decisions when you have a mental illness ?

i’m not referring to decisions about health care in this case, I have to make a decision about a job. How do you know when your thoughts about the decision are ‘good’ or ‘legitimate’ or if it’s your Illness talking.

does this make sense to anyone ? 

[CheerBear]

Hi @DGoldman

I find that sometimes I question my ability to make 'good' decisions because I know I have mental heath challenges. Self-doubt seems to creep in pretty easily for me and I can become fairly indecisive because of it.

One way I find I have more confidence in a decision is if my initial thoughts and feelings are still the same some time later. If I am making a big decision, I might wait a couple of days (sometimes weeks) before acting on it, just to see whether my thoughts about it have changed. I try not to make big decisions when I'm feeling really emotional and will, at the very least, try and 'sleep on it'.

Another thing I find really helpful is to make a pros and cons list, writing down both the pros and cons of making a certain decision, and the pros and cons of not making a certain decision. That way I feel like I've considered the options well and it can help to organise my thoughts too, increasing how confident I feel about making the 'right' choice at the time.

Do you have much time to make this decision, and/or people who know you who you can talk it through with? Maybe it could help to find someone you trust (if you have someone like that) to discuss your thoughts with.

Wishing you the best with it

[DGoldman]

@CheerBear Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my question. I don’t trust my own judgement, my feelings fluctuate so much and I’m held down by so much negative thoughts that decisions aren’t clear to me. Then i can’t tell if my gut feeling is actually real  or if it’s insecurity or fear talking.

ive asked my therapist and a friend and they both say the same thing, so that gives me a bit of an idea. Thanks again.