Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Was it a private service she used previously @Jacques? 

[Jacques]

no it was the public system, but they offer all the services for free, unlimited access. anyway we will need to find another service to support her

[Former-Member]

@Jacques

I am assuming that something must have happened for this situation to have occurred and that your partner is not in a good space.  

Managing a complex mental illness on ones own is often too heavy a load and whilst the available support may not be what one feels is optimal, it has the potential to lead to an integrated approach with another provider.  When choices are limited the "all or nothing" approach can sometimes be unhelpful. 

Can I encourage you to keep ramping up your own self care; as  carer we sometimes need extra help when our loved ones are having difficult times.

Lovely to hear your garden is going well - I can imagine that admiring it whilst sitting on the seat you made with a coffee in hand would be a lovely thing to do 😀.

[Former-Member]

@Jacques

Saw this and thought of you. 

[PeppiPatty]

@Former-Member

Your support to @Jacques is very good. 

Dear @Jacques

 don't know if you remember but I support my oldest son in a long term distance. I wish I could show you photographs from his first admitting in a locked ward to what he looks like today but I can tell you later how he is managing his life. 

My my darling friend @Jacques you have given me much courage from the past..... 

you know the first point of call is you. But we all make big mistakes. We all get worried about what is happening in our partner's  little lives. Today, my partner has decided to book himself into hospital for a couple of weeks because he has only just realised how I am. When he called the hospital, the case worker/ nurse agreed with him that he has changed negatively a lot in the past few months. That he is getting aggressive. 

I'm thinking ...... Does it have to get to this before they admit him ? Where he talks of suicide to me and can barely move his limbs ? 

The he support I have found is meditating with a carer twice per week in their car.

Joined a church and their visits and spending time with these very conservative but caring people gives Mr Buddha a lot of support. 

[Jacques]

hi @Former-Member thank you so much for the motivation to keep excercising.

hi my dear friend @PeppiPatty, please give Mr Arlo a hug for me. that is so wonderful your son is doing better, im so happy for you and im so sorry to hear Mr Buddah is still struggling, im so glad he knows when he is unwell and seeks the proper help. i know how hard it can be to care for ones you love and i know the rewarding feeling when they get better. our loved ones mean so much to us and they are worth the time and effort. 

i hope you are caring for yourself too @PeppiPatty i am doing all i can to keep myself ballanced and my wonderful partner supportes me when i trip, hugs my friend, it is so good to speak again. 

thank you both for the care and support you give me, it is much appreciated.

[PeppiPatty]

Can't talk I'm extremely overwhelmedc

typically the Psych hospital just increased Mr Buddhas medication, everything is back to where it was before. 

Ivecasked for a spectating for 6 months and I'm so exhausted .......well. 

Thankyou @Jacquesb your someone I needed to hear from. you words are so so beautiful. I so love hearing from you 

[Shaz51]

hello my awesome friend @Jacques, how is everything today xx

Hello @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member, @Zorro, @Appleblossom

[PeppiPatty]

Hello All, I’m incredibly tired but Thankyou everyone for your support this little while ......🌿☘️🍀

[Appleblossom]

Dear @Jacques

Sorry I did not see these posts til now. It is always good to see your profile come up.

I know how hard it is to get sufficient MH services. I was shocked when one psychologist jeered at me that there is so much available, as a response when I was talking about my brother not getting real help. It was brutal considering she knew he had taken his life. She could not see it from the point of view of those seeking help.  Her mind was about complaining about the different medicare rebates for different levels of qualification.  Be realistic about the people you meet, but keep trying and reaching out.  If there is a service problem, try and use it to develop inner strength, even tho it is hard and not take it personally.

Keep persisting for you and for her.  Develop a conversation where she is also supportive of you. It needs to be mutual. Take whatever care is available and gradually you both can build up something of a care team.

These days the empahsis seems to be on having a team, including a gp.  Between the 10 psych sessions a general doctor and a psychiatrist and a community health organisation.  If all 4 aspects are working well there can be REAL support .... Life is still a work in progress for us all.