Vulnerable means-
- exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
(of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.
Exposed to the possiblilty of being harmed. With the challenges and sensitivity that we face, I dont know about you but I've been vulnerable most of my life, maybe until my 50 th birthday period, I'm 62 now and I've finally reaised I'm no longer vulnerable. Living 50 years as a vulnerable person, most of which was endured unaware of any mental illnesses, is a long time so its etched in my mind the hurt, that constant hurt every few days or weeks.
Some self proclaimed wiser ex brother in law said once- "you have a real fault, you have to harden up". I replied "and your faults"? to which he replied "not as serious as yours". That hurt. Yet, as we often experience in life, time told me he was 1/ correct in that I needed to harden up if I was to survive with less hurt 2/ That he was wrong in that his faults in my judgement were just as serious but different. Traits like inconsiderate, selfish and overly sceptical come immediately to mind. The difference was that I was open in my hurt from people and their comments. Something had to change.
Change isnt easy. I did however embark on a mission at 40yo to make such changes to my life. I knew I could never be like most people with that thicker skin, so that meant I would need a mask and so be it, a mask it be.! Then I also remembered that my days between 21-24yo as a prison officer could be tapped into. In that work there were two Whiteknights- the harder disciplinarian to get the job done to the satisfaction of my senior and to other officers on the watch for soft officers and then there was the sensitive caring Whiteknight that bent the rules and passed an apple to a distraught prisoner at night when no one watched.
So my first challenge to myself at 40yo was to don the armour of the defensive. Be prepared at all times for the nasty comment, the person that asks questions that a vulnerable person like me will just answer honestly then later regret answering that way. At a BBQ my first challenge came when a relative was admiring our home. We'd had it built 2 years earlier and built a 7 metre diameter rotunda as an entertainment area. Out came the comment "gee nice house you have here, what mortgage have you got on it"? Immediately, out of character I replied "I go on a needs to know basis on those topics". You could cut the air with the tension. Later after they left I still felt guilty replying as I did. But not nearly as much if I had answered her honestly and for a much shorter time. My wife agreed it was rude of her to ask. After more thought I also realised why she asked- because normally with me my relative would get a straight answer ...in fact she could ask anything at all and I'd supply the facts. That fact is simply not good, not street wise and potentially damaging to ones well being. Such openness is not normal. Everyone has limits on letting out knowledge...except the vulnerable and honest.
So I was 40yo when I embarked on facing my vulnerability. That took a full 10 years before I arrived at the level of self protection I was content with. At 55yo I faced a similar challenge from a car club member that, through facebook sent a nasty comment "go and get some more medication nutter". I reverted back to my sensitive days and took it hard. I complained to the president and his short two phone calls to me then him concluded "its a storm in a tea cup". Lesson learned- reverting back to how one used to be is to be expected and there will always be cyber cowards that use social media to get to your feelings. It's only words, I had to put into place another strategy of accepting words as not stones or sticks. That some humans are low in the content of their character and that's a part of life among humans.
Dont be afraid of changing yourself for the better. Expect not to be able to change much from the foundation of your personality and expect it can take a long time to implement basic protective attitude and impelment boundaries. That's what people do. Being vulnerable is exposing yourself to hurt that otherwise if left unattended will result in a hermit type existence to avoid hurt.
WK
EMERGENCY HELP
JOIN US 
Helpline No: 1300 643 287 (1300 MHF AUS)
Donation
My Account
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN
