Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Hey @Jlol ,

I'm not upset by your response. Not at all. And no, you haven't broken any guidelines, and no, we are not kicking you off. 

I hope this clarifies things.

I'm glad you are looking to reach out to people, but we can see how stressful things must be for you right now. I sounds like it is stressful from many aspects.

What does support look like to you? Do you prefer people to share their experiences, share resources that may be helpful, people to just check-in a say hi to you?

We just want to ensure we are supporting you in a way that works best for you.

[Jlol]

No worries @tyme 

"What does support look like to you? Do you prefer people to share their experiences, share resources that may be helpful, people to just check-in a say hi to you?"

I don't know.

All I know is I need some kind of support but there doesnt seem to be anything out there that helps.

[Jlol]

Hahaha, knew there would be a "living fee". It costs money to even lodge a bloody property consent form.

So, my ex-partner wants to take all my money. My lawyer wants to take all my money. The court system wants to take all my money.

Hell, let me open it up!

Anyone here want some of my money? It's going to get syphoned off anyway, so may as well go to people who actually need it.

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Jlol, I am so sorry to hear what's been happening. I just caught up with your posts and can't imagine how stressful this must be. It is incredibly unfair what's happening. 😞

I can hear that you're frustrated, and rightly so - anyone in your situation would have been. 

I am here to chat - I know it won't fix anything but I just hope you know that you have someone to talk to about what's going on

[Jlol]

Thanks @lavenderhaze,

To be honest with you I'm worried I'm not going to make it.The stress is just too much. 

Not having somewhere to live, being gaslit and manipulated by my ex, the complete lack of support, ther purposeful obfuscation of information, and the endless, endless, endless fees. All the while going to work with a smile on my face because if I don't I will not be able to pay these endless fees.

I can't trust any lawyers because each one I've spoken to has said different, conflicting things and every time I ask even a simple question it costs hundreds of dollars. I've spent days compiling spreadsheets for our finances, documenting all our expenses and communications on the bequest of these lawyers but they don't even look at them.

I've called legal help lines but all they're good for are clarifying terminology. Of course they cannot comment on particular cases.

It sickens me that to get justice - even for a very cut and dry case - you need to pay lawyers. The ones I have now are $550/hour! It wasn't long ago I was earn $8/hr. So, basically, the person with the biggest wallet wins. And since my ex has refused to pay her share of the bills and mortgage for 5 months, she has a pretty damn big wallet right now.

TW: SI, edited by moderator

Content/trigger warning

Honestly, this has been so stressful that I've been having suicidal thoughts as a result.

But the stupid/funny part is I can't even talk to anyone about the "s" word because in QLD they lock you up for it. The whole duty of care thing in QLD is so dumb it's even funny.

It seems so straight forward to me: We have no kids, have the same paying jobs, I paid 60% of the costs of the house. She can buy me out at 60% the appraised value, I buy her out at 40% the appraised value, or we sell and get a 60/40 split. Yet the system will not allow it. 

[lavenderhaze]

I am so sorry @Jlol, I can imagine how emotionally and financially challenging this must be. I will send you an email, please look out for it 💜

[Jlol]

I wonder if the forum operators recognise the irony of censoring my mentioning of the "s" word in the same paragraph where I talk about how you're openly discouraged about talking about the "s" word.

[Jynx]

Hi @Jlol - we don't discourage discussion about suicide, however we do want to ensure that the forums are a safe space for everyone. This means that members can discuss suicide, but we ask that they're mindful of how the discussion may be impactful for others who are struggling with suicide ideation. You can read more about the way to talk about suicide safely in a public forum here. 

[Jlol]

With all due respect Jynx, if you must censor what I said I would prefer you just blank it out rather than alter it to say something I did not actually say.

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Jlol ,

I am sorry to hear that you're feeling harassed.

Jynx isn't on till this afternoon, I will let them know and raise your concerns with the SANE team.