Lived Experience Forum

[Tennistalent]

Hang in there

[Tennistalent]

Nothings wrong is part of ur mental health condition- I’m exactly the same when I’m in a bad place- my mood and emotions take control over me and beat me down- just try to take time out for urself and do something u really enjoy

[Zoe7]

Hi @Tennistalent Nice to meet you. Yes it is hard when our mood and emotions take over and we find it hard to control them - that is when self-care is important to help us get through those times.

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay Thinking about you and hoping you are doing ok after your appointment 

[BlueBay]

Hi @Zoe7

it was terrible. I couldn’t stop crying. I dissociated and couldn’t calm myself down. The thing is my mum rang this morning to say she wants to spend the day with me in a few weeks time. That’s when I panicked. What if she asks me about the abuse and if she knows about my brother. She doesn’t know. I panicked and couldn’t calm down. My psychologist and I talked about how to tackle it but I was so upset I struggled. I told her that my mum may just want to just want to spend the day with me and not ask anything but if she does - well I’m still not sure what to do yet. 

I’m scared I’ll break down and end up in hospital if I tell my Mum. I’m really really scared. I’m still not coping. 

@Zoe7 I’m really scared that if my mum asks what do I say. Do I tell her? Last time I told her about the other two guys that abused me she went right off yelling at me saying how dare I wait 30 yes to tell her. She was telling me off I walked out of her house hysterical. I can’t go through that again. 

I cant think right now. Really stressed. 

Shoukd I run. 

[Zoe7]

No don't run @BlueBay as that is not going to solve anything. I was just telling Oulander that I am not seeing the best in anything right now either - eveything seems really hard and all those little things you are struggling with become even more heightened when they are all put together... and add in the cll from your mum and that will be making everything for you even harder. I know you go directly to worst case scenario in these instances but your mum may just want to spend time with you - you need to work on not going to what can go wrong and think more positively about your meeting. If the conversation does go to worst case scenario then it is entirely up to you what you tell your mum. You never know - it might be the right time for her to hear this stuff and she may react very differentlly now - that is only something that you can work out when you are in that situation though BB.

[BlueBay]

These emotions are hard to deal with. I don’t know how to handle them. I’m confused in my head. I can’t deal with my session today. I want to erase it from my mind but can’t. It’s so triggering. @Zoe7@outlander 

I need to ground myself. Each time I close my eyes I get so emotional. 

@Zoe7 I know you’re not doing well today so don’t feel that you have to reply. And same to you @outlander if you’re not in a good space today pls don’t feel pressured. ❤️❤️

[Zoe7]

Talk to me about Ayla @BlueBay - how old is she, what little things does she do that make you smile, is she crawling everywhere etc. etc.

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @BlueBay .....

[BlueBay]

@Zoe7 Ayla is 9 months old. She can say dadda and woof. When she sees jersey our Kelpie she says woof. She can wave. She has 6 teeth. She crawls and just started to stand up and walks along the lounge. She loves books. She is happy to sit with her toys and books. Apparently her dad was like that, quiet and content with his toys snd books. 

When she sees me now she definitely knows me , she puts her arms out for me to grab her. And then I give her lots and lots of kisses and cuddles. I could eat her up. 

Just watching her makes me smile. I love seeing her grow and wonder what she’ll be like when she’s a bit older.  My daughter dresses her in the cutest clothes with big headbands. And Ayla has big brown eyes with long eye lashes!!!

im sitting at home alone. I’ve got no energy I’m exhausted after today’s session. Oh by the way I called my doctor and explained the rash. He wants to see me this afternoon. So that’s good. 

Are you okay? I read that you are struggling a bit. I feel really selfish that I write about myself snd don’t ask about you. I’m really sorry. I do care about you. Xxoo