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Hello Everyone 🙂
I don't go to protest any more either, haven't for years. Though in my experience they
were a good mob of people. But those that work for the ones being protested against .
. . scary! I wonder what your story is, I'm guessing it's scary. Hope your new support
worker helped you shop till you dropped 🙂 & that your back is easing more day by day
I hope your session goes well & your able to visit the drop-in centre. I admire the
strong steps forward your taking & hope that eventually they'll lead to 1 peaceful
consecutive sleep at night
Thinking of you
Mazy @Mazarita
Sorry to hear your dream was tiring, that sort of vivid may not be very helpful. Though if your glad they have returned there is a positive side to it. Glad you fell asleep upon hitting the pillow though. I think you know I don't remember mine, to me that means peace; when I was a child I was afraid of going to sleep, knowing the horror my mind would put me through. There weren't just monsters under the bed . . . they were trapped
inside my head.
Seeing as we can just tell it how it is here . . . I have rectocele, it's very common
but makes my life more difficult all the same. I also have weak pelvic floor muscles, so the whole bathroom scene is quite off-putting! I have to manually manipulate a large bulge to be able to pass motion, if I don't it becomes painful; if I don't notice the bulge it stops urine from passing properly & that becomes painful. When there is no bulge, sometimes I can just stand up & urine passes . . . no sensensation of needing to go to the toilet or anything!! It certainly doesn't help with social anxieties, or going to public places & I find it one of the most self-humiliating things in my life. I used to have a saying 'I dream of diarrhea', I definitly suffered more from constapation, but either way, they are devasting health issues, all surrounded by what society has made embarrassing subjects. Having worked in personal care for many years, I realize how important a persons eblushions are to identifing health issues. I did daily paperwork on the frequency, colour, texture, consistancy, aroma, amount, & regular tests for the presence of blood, protein levels & many medical terms I never understood {just had to report if they were over or under guideline levels}. So I guess the lesson here is, people really need to be mindful of their shit 😄 I'm sorry you are suffering chronic diarrhea Mazy, I'm glad there's no correlation with your meds Sending you gentle hugs & good on you for being so active with walk to village, lunch, bargain hunting, washing & bed making! {haven't done mine yet}.
I did go to the 'Big Smoke' & it was a successful day 🙂 Though that whole toileting issue kicked in to start with! I had set the GPS to take me to the first off-lead park as I went into the big smoke, it was on my side of the city. But I was faced with a couple of problems; 1. from the spot that the GPS took me to, I could see the fenced park, but I couldn't see how to get to it. I think the fenced area is part of a much larger park, I now know & have written down the name of the road that accesses it 🙂 2. It takes a bit over 1 & 1/2 hours to get to my side of the city . . . & I needed to go to the toilet! From where I was I couldn't see a toilet block in the park & then there's my problem of not going into places {particularly buildings} that I haven't been into before. I was also very low on fuel, I had some in my spare fuel container; it was when I got out to put that in the car that I realized that I really had to pee! Luckily I knew of a park nearby, that had a toilet block I regularly used as it is the last 'pee point' before leaving the big smoke on my return trip home 🙂 I just made it! & then returned to the GPS spot & we walked {on lead} to the fenced dog park. It was quite warm being not far after midday, though through researching the parks I knew this one had a sheltered table & chairs, & some trees for shade. But we had to get there first 🙂 The dogs were sooooo excited! This was full on houses, streets, cars, totally alien environment from where they lived!! The staffy went into snuffelufflegus mode 🙂 nose down & flitting from one spot to another. I imagine there'd be a lot of dogs get walked around the area. We had to cross a small wooden bridge to get over to the dog fenced section, it really brought the drought into focus; at first I saw no water at all, it was a bit of a valley which suggested there was water there once. I noticed the ground & how crispy dry the very short dead grass was. I almost didn't see the very small puddle of water under the middle of the bridge because my staffy was behaving a little strangely. He'd gone from push & pull from one smell to the next, to suddenly grinding to a complete halt behind me! It seems I may never have taken him across a small wooden bridge before & the big brute pit bull was afraid of it 😄 A bit of gentle coaxing & he stepped on, he was a little shaky to about the half way point, where I got a glimpse of the puddle, then his gait change to a leap for the other side 😄 On the other side the path led along the trees & was really pleasant. I was really
impressed with the dog park, it had an entrance area - like a cage with a gate, outside
the main gate; which means when you leave the park you have a second gate to deter any potential escapees 🙂 There was nobody else there, which was a bonus because I wouldn't have taken them in otherwise - not only am I unsure how my staffy would behave, I don't know how other peoples dogs would either. The fence was stunning, 6ft chain mesh in excellent condition 🙂 There was a small agility course, I managed to get the staffy to hop up on one platau, though I had to get up with him; he went over the 2 shortest jumps, there was a ramp there also but after the bridge kerfuffle I didn't even attempt it with him 🙂 I had brought a tennis ball with me but there were a few already there, the dogs weren't interested . . . there were far too many smells to smell 😄 I had seen correctly there was no toilet block but there was a water fountain, with a low dish &
tap for the dogs - but again the dogs weren't interested . . . too many smells to smell 🙂 It wasn't a very large area & we didn't really stay long, perhaps next baiting season they'll take more interest in the ball 😉 I made the appointment for my cars brakes & popped into Aldi's for some of the staffies favourite treats & some smokes {as I'd parked in Woolies & they're so much cheaper there!}. Then we headed off to the second fenced
dog park. There was a St Vinnies on the way & I just had to have a look, I got a real bargain, a beautiful pastel yellow cotton blanket for $2!!! The second park was on the
other side of town & as it was getting a little later in the afternoon it already had a half a dozen or more dogs in there. I almost turned around & went straigt home, we sat in the car for quiet a while, just watching. None of the dogs appeared aggressive at all but I was not willing to take mine in, I hadn't imagined so many to be there. Eventually I decided I'd walk them around the outside of the park, figuring there's no law against it, it's still public grounds. I'm so glad I did 🙂 The little fella was pretty embarrassing, he has such a loud bark! I was able to change his focus a little by offering him little treats, but even that failed after a while; I had to growl a little but considering I think that may have been the first time in his life {7 years} that he'd even seen that many dogs together, he did ok 🙂 As we walked around the outside some of the dogs on the inside came up to the fence, no aggression happened at all 🙂 there was a bit of whining from the little fella, but noses touched through the fence with nothing else but wagging tails 😄 Pretty big day for me & I noticed both puppies settled very quickly after there feed when we got home, yipping & running in there dreams 😄
I'm glad to hear how wonderful the picnic was 🙂 Love to you
Sorry they took so long with the script, 2 hours is too long, particularly when you
then have to wait to have that script filled & that med should have been organized by
the hospital for your Mums release! Love to you
@outlander
I admire your courage to get tests done, to me it shows a real strength to survive
I'm sorry the test didn't show any results, I don't think it absolutely means nothing
is wrong, just not what they tested for. If there's pain go easy on yourself & keep
looking. Lots of love to you
@CheerBear
Sorry you had a sad teary day over the tricky stuff I'm glad you had company that distracted you from it I'm also sorry about the seedlings but glad your garden is finished now, ready for a new beginning. Hugs for the troubled dreams causing broken/lack of sleep Yay for middle getting their cast off 🙂 I'll bet they'll be glad it can be washed properly too 🙂 Enjoy the surprise visit, I'm sure your friends will
🙂 Love to you & yours
@Faith-and-Hope
Sorry for you saddness upon the decision to sell your home, change is just change, not
neccessarily good or bad, happy or sad, but it always happens
Love to all the need or want it
❤️ @Exoplanet .....
I had begun making an artwork out of my garden wall, but I will just have to dismantle it all and find somewhere to put it back together again, likely in a different form. I can’t have a garden anymore, which I will really miss, but them’s the breaks .... have to focus on what I can have, and can do, and let other things in to fill the void.
Hugs to you too .....
Here’s a garden view to share ..... for anyone who needs one this afternoon .....
Hi everyone. I haven't read back over the thread today yet. I hope to do that later tonight and respond to discussions then. Just wanted to first write down today's news from me. This is partly because I like the forum as a journalling space, and partly for friends who have asked me in the mornings about my plans for the day. As a way of dealing with my tendency to sabotage my stated plans or goals, I'm not stating my advance plans to anyone at the moment. Instead I'll do it in reverse, and report back on what I've actually done, after the event. 
It's been a big one today by my standards. I woke for the last time from my broken up overnight sleeps around 8.30am. Did a few little things before coming online (inspired by @eth doing the same). Was in the shower by 10.30am. That's almost a record for me, as I usually procrastinate a lot over showering and usually don't make it in there until sometime in the afternoon, if at all.
Bussed it to the local village, went to the chemist for some stuff, and arrived half an hour early for art group at the mental health centre. I have a knitting project at the moment for a mental health event coming up, so I did that for 90 minutes, while the others were doing the facilitator's project for today. I am one of the 'regulars' in the art group by now, and it was really good to see and chat to the other 'regulars' too, as well as the centre staff.
After that I walked a few blocks to the bakery and had lunch. Then I got on another bus and went to the larger shopping centre closest to here. Spent about 45 minutes there. I thought there was a 'Best and Less' at that centre and wanted to follow up on @greenpea's recommendations about the cheap clothes for larger women they have. But I'd mixed up the shopping centres in this area and found they didn't have one where I was. So just walked up and down the centre taking in the stores, and stopped and had a coffee. Then waited about 15 minutes for a connecting bus to my close friend's place.
Stayed there for two pleasant hours and then C picked me up on the way home from work. Got home about 5.30pm, in time for some Star Trek. 
Made my own dinner (giving C a break from doing that): tuna and mayo sandwich, fairly healthy and yum.
Most of my wandering over the day was by bus, but I probably also clocked up about 1.5km of walking around the back streets, at the shopping centre, between bus stops and to my friend's place. I was also carrying a pretty heavy backpack because of what I needed for the various activities of the day. I'm sure that counts as extra exercise!
Smiled at several people in my journeys and they smiled back. Had a little conversation with a couple of women at a bus stop. All good.
Now I'm writing this instead of watching Big Bang Theory. I've been watching up to five hours of TV a day since the big depression that I only started to come out of a few weeks ago. So being here instead of there is a bit of a step forward. I really don't want to watch that much TV!
My only complaint of the day is that my neck and upper back is really painful at the moment and I've had a headache for three days. That's aside from the usual gut issues. But I've used one of @Faith-and-Hope's great suggestions from a while back, and used fisiocrem all around my neck and shoulders, which has given some relief. I'm kind of proud of myself for doing so much today despite the pain. And I feel that my 'reverse psychology' of making my plans only in my own head, instead of laying them out in advance, is working a treat!
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far! Looking forward to catching up and responding to everyone else's news a bit later. For now, kind wishes to all for the rest of the evening.
