Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

thats really good things @Dots well done. keep up your supports too  

[Determined]

Pleased to hear things have improved for you @Dots. 

[Determined]

@Dots
Trust things are ok for you and ypur family.

[Wolf]

Hi Dots I hear you! I hope by the time this gets to you the days have been kind and somwhat with a smile. I have cared for my daughter with bpd for over 8 years now with some bad attempts on her life... Now 23 she works full time and days varies. My eldest saved her once, now he lives independently and I have my youngest with me atm too. As a single mum I have spent many nights awake. It is worth every waking hr. They get stronger with support although it os hard for me to get her into counceling as her byfriend is abusive and believes therapy is for "weak" people and so are meds. I feel my good work is vanished when he is around 24/7 abusive and in my home. Now broken off as of last week I am on alert but keep reassuring her that alone time is great! Distractions, friends, music as she plays guitar and sings, I encourage thoughts of creactivity and self discovery with support. My 3 children are very close but I am exsausted! 😕 Positive but alone, isolated no family in Oz but... and like many say today is a new day! We are stronger than we think. Here if you need help.
I am new here as of today 😊

[outlander]

Hello @Wolf and welcome to the forums

[silhouette]

Hi Dot "you'll get through this! "
I kinda understand because my sister has attempted suicide in the past. Its hard caring but also bracing self for the worst or running silly trying to stop it. Its exhausting. And the worry of a ripple eaffect with the siblings... Feel for you.
Hang in there 💝

[dideoh]

I posted for a while last year after my daughter' suicide attempt. She initially attempted because her exhusband started dating and she had not found anyone. She believed he did not deserve to find someone but she also had decided perhaps she was better off with him than no one.

After a few months with lots going on mentally, she now is really angry because she believes I put my husband's honour above her life (not her father) and a wide variety of things I am in trouble for. I have come to believe that she has BPD as she fits most of thecriteria especially the anger, depression and blaming everyone else. I believe she is now seeing a psychologist every second week but I wonder how much that will help especially as the psychologist does not know the other side to her story.

Yesterday - Mothers Day, she announced that she is giving the family home to her ex and care of the kids aged 10 and 15 to him. She is dropping out altogether and wants no contact with anyone. She is not going to committ suicide as she is not allowed too but it would be her preference.

I am so exhausted from her continual anger, blaming others especially the 10 year girl who just does not have the skills to deal with an angry mother who yells and rants and raves at her if she does anything wrong. So the 10 year old eventually throws a tantrum and gets shut in her room for hours.

I stay in constant contact with my granddaughter.  I am getting so tired and hurt by my daughter's constant blaming of me and others. It is a long long story. thanks for listening

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @dideoh .....

💐💜

[silhouette]

@dideoh, yes,  its very hard watching & worring about loved ones who withdraw & get rid of their assets. This is a bad sign & i think you should tell her psychologist.  Which I'm glad she's seeing. Its hard on mothers day to be given a list of your paremting mistakes rather than thanks for all we do do.  I hope you don't lose your daughter.  Sometimes i step back & look at my sister and realise

she has a life threatening disease that could 'take' her any day 😞  And like amother witha child whohas severe epilepsy, leukemia, diabetes... ...  we do our best to 'manage'the disease and hope it doesn't 'take'them - but sometime it does.  This is the reality we live with. Pulling back emotionally ourselves (bracing for the hit - as we are human) but which they sense & are further hurt by... And...  ...  Its hard to keep loving them but we must.  

I fear i'm gonna wake up and find my sis 'gone'nearly every day.  Then sometimes catch myself thinking that horrible thought 'why don't she get it over & done with?! '  😱 😞  How could i think that? 

My brother thinks she should be 'put out of her mysery'  disgusting attitude many have. 

I've come to learn suicidal people usualy have two sides,  a battle within where part if them wants to live & part doesn't,  and they are at war with each other.  

We as carers have to tap into and strengthen the part that wants to live.  Boost their self esteem 

& value as a human being... 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Morning @dideoh @silhouette ......

My hubby doesn’t know that his “superior healthy lifestyle” is in fact an eating disorder that is destroying his health and can be / will become life-threatening.  Trying to communicate with him about it ignites a firestorm.  It’s in a different form, but there are similarities with what you are both up against.

Walking along with you .....