Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member On your first point - having to go to the city - I understand your distress at that - it was much the same for me everytime I had to travel along a certain road to get to my pdoc. Having all those memories and having to go back to an area that you are highly emotional about is indeed very triggering. There is also the added pressure of why you are going - to take your hubby to see if he has a recurrence of the autoimmune encephalitis - that is hard enough in itself without the personal triggers. I really hope that hospital visit comes very soon for you both and you can get some answers to why hubby is so sick at the moment. The sooner you can get through this the better. Is your psych back yet? Can you email her with your fears?

On the second point - I can whole heartedly see and hear your fears. Having been deactivated from that previous forum must have been intolerable for you - so I can see why you have the current fears you do. I do believe though that this forum is a very inclusive and well managed forum despite the latest issue. There may be things that come about that we don't always like or agree with but it is also my view that these things can be discussed openly and effectively with both other members and the community managers. That is where the comparison to that other forum shows a much more positive environment on here and I do have confidence that such issues that you previously dealt with and this one we are presently dealing with will be resolved without alienating or excluding anyone. 

It is also so important that you recognise that you have done absolutely nothing wrong here and infact I really appreciate your thoughts and position on all this. Yet again you have shown what a wise, knowledgeable, caring and compassionate person you are. Those attributes certainly endear me to you and I have so much admiration for the way you support others here whilst also going through so much yourself. That is indeed evident in the way you have supported me this week whilst having all this in the background for yourself - compassion personaified Hon.

Whilst the events of this week have not been ideal I do believe the forum is much bigger than just one issue and it will eventually be sorted out with all perspectives and opinions taken on board. Sometimes it is simply that mistakes happen and whilst those mistakes have a significant effect on some when they do we also need to recognise that it is nit the end if the world - all things can be worked out in time and with the right consultation. This is one of those things. I am okay and that is very much partly because of your support so now it is time for me (us) to support you. It has been a hard week for both of us - and knowing more about the history that has caused such distress this week in you is actually good for us to know so we can help you through this too.

You will certainly not lose any friends here Hon - you are one of us, family, community and that is important. There is not much more I can say but - given time this too shall pass - and through continued mutual support we will all get to a better place again.

Sending you so much love sweet Sherry and a really big thank you for all your amazing contributions on this forum 

[Faith-and-Hope]

So well said @Zoe7 .... 💜🌷

@Former-Member 

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member So you know I am thinking about you today and sending you a whole heap of love...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Beautiful @Zoe7 @Former-Member ......❣️

(The flowers too)

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope 😍

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member 

I understand you were hurt by this other forum changing the rules and you are concerned this might happen here too. You must feel very vulnerable but my suggestion is that you email the moderators - I know the managers would not be here for a few days but they will be back today - and this must be distressing for you

However this is a very caring forum - people are protected here - and I can tell you distressed you are

About your fear and PTSD about being assaulted in the city - I understand this far better - I have fears about being knocked in the supermarket or other places where people mill about without any concerned for other people - I have chronic spinal pain and become hypervigilent in public places at times and I don't really think there is any "should" about needing to be over it by now - I'm not - I have to confront this every week and feel really tense and wonder if today is the day I will require the assistance of the paramedics to get me onto my feet or even find myself in the ED again!!! - I hate it

So I identify with your feelings - having been assaulted and having chronic pain issues are quite different but the hypervigilance is the same - the heightened awareness - unexpected events that are harmless but startling - the tension and the fear - they are all very real - so one problem you seem to have is feeling like you shouldn't feel this way - and another is the reality of your feeling - being assaulted again.

I am not sure if you have a therapist but if you do then speak  to them about it - I am glad you mentioned it here - you will have a lot on your plate if your husband is addmitted to hospital to have tests about autoimmune encephalitis - which is scary - and I believe every natural reason to be anxious - 

And I would not be so senseless to tell you not to worry - all you have written about it important and something you need help to deal with

So email the moderators here and relieve your concern with the threads etc - and see your therapist or ring Life Line about your hypervigilence and it's wait and see with your husband

But share with us - keep in touch - the forum is here to help you

All the best

Dec

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar

Not sure what to say really ... you have all been so understanding and supportive. So for now ... just a massive thank you.

@Zoe7 - how lovely of you to remember that freesia's are my favourite flowers. Such a beautiful yet simple arrangement of flowers you have delivered to me here.

@Owlunar - thank you for understanding. We actually have much more in common than you may realise, because I too suffer from chronic pain from a long ago lower back injury. Its sufferable most of the time, but there are times I can barely move when it decides to flare up. Often from no obvious cause. I'm told that the injury remains unstable and that I will experience major pain flares from time to time. One thing I am very grateful for right now is that its been pretty good the past few months. Touch wood! I dont need to be bedridden right now with so much happening around me. Plus with pain flares comes much increased depression and all that comes with that. Its not something I can ever just forget though, because I have pain all the time. But mostly I have learned to live with it or manage it reasonably well. Happens I guess after 20 years of suffering from it.

Yes I do have a clinical psychologist whom I have been seeing every fortnight until about a month ago when she went on a family holiday. She is back this week however, and I have an appointment with her tomorrow afternoon. Its a timely appointment as it turns out. I was hoping the hospital would hold off for a couple more days so I could get this one in tomorrow. Given there has been no phonecall from the hospital yet, its looking pretty good for my apt tomorrow.

I have yet to receive any 'please explain' emails from managers, so I'm hopeful that I have not crossed any lines or broken any unwritten rules in my commentary.

I sincerely apologise if I have caused concern or anger to anyone here. I have to say that managers here have always been fully supportive of me. I only have good things to say about Sane, and none of my citicisms of elsewhere, apply here. But due to distressing experiences elsewhere (several times over a 2 year period) I just feel very unsettled, and afraid of being cut off from support again. History has a habit of repeating itself.

Please everyone ... I really appreciate your understanding and your care. I'm okay, so please dont worry about me. I may be a little quiet for a bit though as I retreat into my protective shell and regroup.

I will update you about how my psych session goes tomorrow and also when the hospital call up for hubby happens and the dreaded trip to the City.

Thank you ...........

A very grateful
Sherry 💕🤗🌺

[Zoe7]

I fully understand that need to retreat for a while @Former-Member WHen you put your heart and your thoughts all out here it can be overwhelming and that for you runs alongside everything you are already dealing with - so it is not only understandable but very much a self-care thing to do.

You certainly have our support here Hon - with all you are going through AND all you wrote. It is a very tough time for you that was made worse because of what you have been through previously ...and whilst we cannot change history for you we can be here for you through this reminder. 

I still very much feel like this was dealt with very insensitively and continues to be an issue for me too but whilst I still have a lot to say on the issue (at some stage) we cannot go back and change it. The only thing we can do is move forward and whilst I fully understand that that is hard for you right now I hope in time you can get past this too. Look after yourself Sherry - give yourself all the time and space you need - and know how ever long (or short) that is that we will be waiting here to continue to support you.

All my love and huge hugs Hon 

[Lauz]

Hi all, have seen the encouragement around emailing the forums team here which is really meaningful to us. If you are feeling triggered or are unsure of anything to do with your forums use, the team is always there to work with you. 

@Former-Member it is really positive to see your own self awareness of your triggers and how you can detect where and what they are coming from. Like I have said, if you are feeling unsure about your forum use you can email us team@saneforums.org otherwise it is wonderful to see the support of your peers here while you navigate a few big feelings currently 😊

[outlander]

sitting with you @Former-Member