Lived Experience Forum

[CheerBear]

Hey @Former-Member, hope you don't mind me joining in here. I too notice that winter seems to be harder for me, though I do love snuggling down with a blanket and book. I love that it's so easy to find yarns in winter and that soup feels so good at this time of the year.

As I write this, I am currently enjoying a very sunny day where birds are out, there's not really even a breeze and I can't see any clouds, so my more positive view of winter is happening during a very not-wintery day 😉

I haven't been on my bike in ages and a lot of that has to do with the weather, and I feel sad thinking it's just going to get worse from here.

Anyway, just wanted to come past and say hi really. Sorry to hear you're feeling cold and lonely, but it's good to hear that hopeless isn't added to the mix today too.

Hope you stay warm for the rest of the day 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hi @CheerBear. The more the merrier!! Jump in any time. How do you get down in winter? You point out some good things about winter. I love jackets, scalves, track suits and baggy clothes.

I had another day in bed today. Not smart but so cold. Having lots of hurting flashbacks, probably triggered by the weather I suspect. Its like the intense feelings around avloved ones.passing have attached to all past memories of her, turns on the SI big time, which frightens me. Can a @Moderator tell me if that is common years after a major sudden loss? Will current grounding exercises keep it at bay or is it a sign I need more help atm?

Eventually I found a way to get warm as toast - under an electric throw rug in bed today most the day  - its like heaven, especially for my knees that really feel the cold. Its only 11°C on my veranda at midday and a cold wind.

Have a shift at the shop tomorrow so hope I can get moving, don't mind the shop work. Had some paranoia / social anxiety last week so hope that's gone.

Tell me about yourself Cheerbear 🌷🌿

[CheerBear]

 Good morning @Former-Member and everyone here. I've seen you around a little but it's nice to 'meet' you properly lapses 🙂 

Tights and boots, winter dresses, big jackets, soup (I love soup!), hot chocolates, my cats liking me a lot more through these months - they're other winter things that make this time of the year just a tiny bit more tolerable for me. I also love crochet and have been working on a huge blanket for months. Yesterday I had it over my legs (it is now bug enough to wrap myself in it if I want to) and thought how much nicer it is to not be melting hot and try to work on a thick blanket! Do you like gardening/flowers lapses? I was going to plant bulbs in our garden ready for spring this year but missed my chance because my mh took a turn. I like thinking that there are so many people around where I live who have probably planted all kinds of pretties which will lie in waiting ready for a beautiful show when the weather is a little warmer. Kind of like a reward for riding out this time of the year.

I wonder if it is too late to try something like this where I am? It could be like a bit of hope in a pot 🙂 .

I have ptsd (with MDD and GAD lurking underneath it), and understand how intense it can be to have flashbacks and then be stuck with hits of SI. I know you asked whether it's common to experience this years after a major sudden loss. From my understanding people who have experienced big traumas can spend years living with the after effects. Grounding exercises can help in the moment, though I can find it a struggle to get to a place where I'm able to ground myself when I'm re-experiencing trauma. Sounds to me like you did what you needed to yesterday and comforted and took care of yourself. Your throw rug sounds great and I can imagine how nice that would have felt.

While I don't think I have SAD, I do think that the weather definitely stirs up the ugly depression stuff I have brewing away. Winter is long here and I know that come July/August it will probably feel like it's been going forever and will never end. It always does though (I'm writing this here to remind myself of it and if I need to I'll visit this post again in a month or so!).

I hope you are able to get moving this morning and that your shift is a good one. I'd better go and start my day too. 

Take care 🙂

[Former-Member]

Thanks @CheerBear, very chirpy, and the flower picture is beautiful. That's a hood idea - planting bulbs to reep reward of spring flowers - something to look fwd to. I don't like the person I've become, lazy and sad but trying yo push through my shiny bits. Don't wanna go in to my shift today, of know how to but so fare I have been able do better shake a leg. Oh, I do like garden, and crochet - just need some motivation. Nice to see you Cheerbear. 🌷🌿

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member@CheerBear@Shaz51@soul@Lunar

We are one week into winter - and if anyone wants to know about my countdown of days - there are 92 days from June 1st to August 31st and 7 of them - one week - are over

I know spring can be bleak  - but we are 7 down and 85 days left - and I always like this

The big even in June is the Winter Solstice or the Longest Night or Shortest Day - which ever - and that is in two weeks time - so hold that thought in your shivery minds

July and August can be cold but the days start stretching out - and this is always good - 

In the meantime - fluffy jumpers and trakky daks with wore out flannel shirts and thick socks - hot soup - I have been making fried rice - as well as clearing my vegetables by making hot soup

And if possible - plan a trip - I keep changing my ideas - I am thinking about going to Hobart to see my rellies - but I might change my mind yet again

Oh yes - I posted this mountain elsewhere - it's Mont Blanc - looks snowy there

Dec

[CheerBear]

The day here went from sunny and blue skies to grey, gloomy and rainy both literally and metaphorically 😞 I've had appointments cancelled and a very sore and swollen mouth, which means another dentist trip tomorrow.

Recently I had to replace my umbrella because it didn't survive a very windy day one day. I bought the brightest most colourful rainbow one I could find. Everywhere I look this afternoon there are shades of grey so I'm looking forward to pulling it out for it's first run while I walk to collect the kids from school. Sooooo cold this afternoon.

Hope you're all rugged up and/or warm. @Owlunar - love your countdown. Only 5 days until we are in the 70s (half smiling here 🙂 )

[Former-Member]

Hi @Dec,  llike your countdown too, one week in 11 togo (why does that make me feel more cold. People I talk to that have been to Yas in winter say they are more set up for the cold than the rest of us so that's better.  I'll catch you on the other thread Dec you stay warm 🙂 

@CheerBear, thanks for checking in. You'll have to post a pic of your new umbrella. Good idea brightening up the world ☔ Hope your tooth isn't abcessed - get into the vit-C. You stay warm too. 

💧☔🌂🍃⛄❄🌀

Tonight i feel like bursting into tears and I don't know why. Had a good shift at the shop today. Got couple things done when I got home. Even got a couple tx messages. Bit cold so about to rug up in bed. Don't like the cold. Might have ☕ & choc first 🌷🌿

[CheerBear]

Good morning @Former-Member and everyone here.

Hope you slept well lapses. It's good to hear you had a good shift at the shop, though I'm sorry to hear you felt sad a teary last night.

I love that photo you posted - sitting by a fire is definitely another little something that makes winter seem nicer. Though in the above picture the first thing I wanted to do was put socks on whoever is sitting there! It's all good to have hands wrapped around a warm drink, but if my feet aren't completely covered in multiple layers of thick socks/slippers etc, no other part of me feels warm enough!

I found this beautiful photo today.

It reminded me of what I saw in the reflections from the windows of the houses I walked past yesterday.

It's another showery and cool day forecast for here and I have to venture out of the house (and out from under my blanket) to go to the dentist today. I'll keep watch in the puddles and see if I can catch some colours looking up at me. 

How are you planning on spending today?

💗 

[Former-Member]

Hi @CheerBear, thanks for responding, love the picture - the umbrella reflection, good idea to get a pic of ya own next time walkin in the rain ☔.  

I slept a little better last night thanks, but didn't seem enough. Reacted badly when i Got snapped at by a customer today, had to take a 1/2hr break to compose myself - tears and sobbing, really sobbing when you suck in air, and been teary since. Its triggered me, but guess I have been teary all week. So embarrassing to burst into tears that easy when at work with customer service roles. Flight response mode kicked in, urge to go walking but can't, sciatica hurts +++. I haven't been like this, this teary for so long, hope I'm not relapsing, don't understand, can't go through that again. Plz pray for me. Maybe bad winter blues, or a recent medication change (blood pressure). Far out, you think we'd run out of tears. Gotta go, get into my coping box. Hope it works🌷🌿

Help😿:bomb:

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, i'm dropping hints here but not getting much support. Really struggling, can't stop crying after a minor incident at work today. Have been more teary than usual this last few days. Not sure why, nothing stands out. Just put myself to bed as feel cold, the tears keep coming, I've had pain tablets but still have a headache and sciatica. I take an antidepressant but worry I'm relapsing, can't go back down that road again. Gotta stay calm, thus the going to bed, feel cold. Just, don't know what I need, nobody really to talk to, just so sad, gosh 😞