Lived Experience Forum

[Jacques]

Hi @PeppiPatty, sometimes there is no way to "move on" it is a weird term in the English language that I believe is mis interpreted, sometimes we need to accept things have happened and not let those things define us and our future, I know it is easier said than done.

Sometimes things are hard to let go, especially painful things. Sometime focus on the negatives and lose sight of the positives right in front of us. We need to in those times go back to the simple things.

Hugs my dear friend @PeppiPatty you are so often in my thoughts. Hugs @Appleblossom and @TAB

[Zoe7]

@PeppiPatty sometimes our days are simply about getting through them in any way we can - the other days are ones we build up enough strength to tackle the not so good days. I am trying to treat each day as a new day and not worry about the next one until it gets here - it is not easy but if I don't at least try then the pain becomes too much to handle and I lose the will to go on. this way I only need to concentrate on having enough strength to get through one day at a time - sometimes it is hour by hour or even minute by minute - it is helping most days but like everything it takes practice and some belief that it can work.

Hugs @PeppiPatty 

[PeppiPatty]

Honestly @Jacques and @Zoe7 @greenpea

I do not want to act as if these realizations are any different than other people have on their plate but I like very much what @Jacques writes. we have known each other for a long time haven't we @Zoe7 and @Jacques @TAB @Appleblossom @outlander

and I like the action of going back to simple things.

How do we do this?

It's like no matter what I do during the day I am reminded that my own mother is saying these horrible things about me. Then my Step Dad was saying them as well. 

[outlander]

Hello @PeppiPatty

Family can be so mean and it makes them very hard to deal with. The horrible things arent a reflection of you they are a reflection of those saying them. My family are much the same in yours so can understand how their words would be affecting you. Hugs ❤

Also you dont have to 'get over' anything. You sometimes  need time to process think breathe then move forward. Its not often as simple as getting over something.

Going back to simple things... like many others i take it day by day and break it down as i need (hr by hr etc)
I also try to reconnect with the things that bring me joy like my art works or visiting the beach and watching the waves.

Self care is a must and that include having supports for yourself too.

Do you have friends, psych or other service you can confide in when things are rocky?
Whats some things that you like to do to help you get through the tougher times?

[Shaz51]

hello my special friend @PeppiPatty 

 I like the action of going back to simple things -- which things do you like that you can bring back -- sitting enjoying a cuppa and reading quietly

what simple things are you missing xoxoxo

[Zoe7]

At the moment - foremost in your mind are the things your mother is saying - you need to try to replace those thoughts with more positive ones @PeppiPatty This is easier said than done but as you mention often doing the simple things can help - have a cuppa and sit and drink it with your whole mind focussed on that cuppa - try your five senses around just that cuppa - what does it feel like, is it hot or warm, what does it taste like, what does it smell like, what can you see as you drink it and what sounds can you hear. Often going back to basics but doing it mindfully can help to replace some of those thoughts. It may not help but anything is worth a try when we are so consumed by such bnegativity as you are dealing with @PeppiPatty 

[Appleblossom]

@PeppiPatty Some of what was said could be seen through a lens of being overprotective of you ... but unfortunately critical of your partners.

I would not wipe your parents completely, but perhaps a bit guarded.  

I agree with @Jacques about "moving on" and @Zoe7 about taking it a step at a time.

Listen to your sense of being proactive and begin a new project or finish an old one.

I hope Mr Arlo is well.

[PeppiPatty]

@outlander @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Jacques 

headaches just grate my head..... for so many years I thought..... 

now-          now it's definitely verified. 

How do I pour myself a coffee? How do I walk down the street? Even on Sane forums, I can keep a sort of detached ego ..... I feel like I'm stripped out of any support. 

Okay, my support is

You,

church members,

my husband,

do I write to my brothers about it ? 

I'm sorry that I'm not looking at other messages..... 

[Appleblossom]

It is very difficult to come to terms with being betrayed by those who are family.

It is same for me.  I now have a mental health care team, and that helps as well as the forums.  It was reading others posts here that helped me get my new doc and the others.

Your art @PeppiPatty is beautiful and refined and shows so much of your soul.

Glad church is working for you.

I am logging off to do some music practise. I have been lazy and on strike all week!

Better do it now.

[Zoe7]

You don't need to worry about looking at other messages @PeppiPatty - this is the time for us to support you and if writing what you are feeling is how we can support you then we are happy to listen (read) 

I think only you can answer whether you write to your brothers about it @PeppiPatty - but if it is giving you this much grief then maybe you should - at least you have shared the problem with those that are more abreast of your situation with your mum - they may have been witness to similar behaviour before too - you never know!