Lived Experience Forum

[jamesle2015]

I keep getting 'flashbacks' -

remembering things that happened many years ago

I'm not sure why but today I got it

It's bad memories - nothing very serious - I wasn't injured physically or anything

but more a bad situation I was put in years ago and the memories involved someone

I'd rather forget - without revealing too much it was someone who was inconsiderate

and dishonest

but I can't stop thinking about what happened ..

this sort of thing makes me wonder - the other person has probably totally forgotten about it

as it was a long time ago and it is possible that they may have 'changed' over that time...

they may be a 'better' person ...

and even if they are not that is not my problem it is out of my control

so why do I keep thinking about it?

do i have a 'reflective' personality - is that what they call it?

it is quite distressing how I can't get rid of these thoughts I wish I could

[greenpea]

@jamesle2015  Hi jamesie2015 I used to have flashes of memories which were awful. They came to me like a wave and would go away again. Even now as I try and think of them I am finding it impossible. It is like my body is stopping me, It is trying to protect me,

[greenpea]

@Emelia8  sweetheartxxx

[Bow]

I get flashbacks too @jamesle2015  they aren't pleasant to sit through. Never understand why our mind does it to us. 

it does however remind me of the whole concept of forgiveness... at least how I see forgiveness. People hurt us, in whatever ways they do and then continue on with their lives unbeknown to what damage they have caused. I believe forgiveness is for us. The person who has been hurt. We chose to release the person who has hurt us from our judgement. there is a quote that I love 'to forgive is to set a prison free only to relise the prisoner was me'. 
not sure why I shared that, something to think about perhaps. But please don't read this as me downplayyng your flashbacks. It's your mind... your body... trying to tell you something. And they can be really horrible to sit with. 
go easy..

[DogMan79]

Something that has helped for me in the past:

Write this person an unsent letter
Read the letter out loud. Optionally record the reading on your smart phone or other voice recorder

It helps release, as @Bow touched on

[Jo-anneJoy]

hey @jamesle2015 

I have heard of contemplative personality.  

It has been my lived experience that incidents that stick in your memory, and keep popping up when you least want them to (intrusive) are like splinters embedded deep in your flesh, that are working their way up to the surface: to be readily plucked out with some tweezers.

The psyche does the same thing and each time that sequence of memory comes around again, you will be shown a different angle, a different side, a new way of understanding that incident - from the distance in time where you are now.  Older, bigger, and more able to care for yourself, to guard yourself, to use your own words to voice what you had witnessed, what you had lived through.

Often that 'splinter' that needs to be worked out is the narrative, the explanation that someone else gave us at the time.  Their explanation, justification, fobbing off, denial of how it was for you. 

Now you have your own thoughts, your own impressions and your psyche is saying "Umm...not so fast, I have a different take on things".

Art therapies are very effective in working with "broken record" or "looping reliving".  Using your hands to paint, collage, to create a visual has the potential to move the memory along to where you can break the circuit and gain detached perspective. 

It's your body, your mind, your psyche, your lived experience.  Befriend and companion whatever is coming up. Splinters hurt like crazy on the way out.