Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

How do you have a supportive conversation? What kind of things can you say to help them feel supported or help them feel like they can open up to you?



For me, I don't pressure anyone to talk to me. If they say they are fine I will ask are you sure you seem abit (angry, upset, tired whatever ive noticed) and if they still don't want to talk ill just let them know that im there if they do want to talk.

If they do talk and open up I try active listening and try to be empathetic even if I don't fully understand by using phrases like that must be really hard how do you cope with all that or do you have anyone to help you.
I try to make them feel heard.

[Georgie_Girl]

Thanks @Lauz 

I can usually pick a good moment or opportunity.

im pretty good at diffusing his rants to when he’s feeling wound up

Its funny how we learn to just deal with it

[CheerBear]

I've recently started having more conversations with a parent who has previously been pretty closed off to MH related stuff in the past. Something I found helped a bit was to be open with them about my own experiences with MH challenges. I guess it maybe normalises it a little.

Working out how to go from talking about getting support to actually getting support is the next challenge, but it's a start maybe

[Lauz]

@Former-Member letting people know you are there and thinking of them is a good one - sometimes a person we care about may not be ready to say what they are feeling so its just good to let them know and reminding them that you are there for whenever they need. 

[Shaz51]

@Lauz 

Sitting next to my husband , not saying anything 

Holding his hand , just letting him know I am there for him 

And sometimes he will open up 

[CheerBear]

@Shaz51 that's lovely. Sometimes silent sitting is just the thing that's needed. Lucky Mr Shaz ❤

[Determined]

Hi @Lauz  + everyone

Other than supporting my darling with BPD we are both now supporting darlings Dad.

I had a discussion with Dad recently about getting him an alert pendant to wear after having to go looking for him 😕 😢

Thankfully he was able to see this as enabling independence rather than taking it away something that has been preventing me from having the discussion. 

[Lauz]

@outlander great tips! Trying not to put pressure on someone to talk is good. While it sounds easy when its someone we love having a hard time, it can be so easy to get a bit swept up and try to get them to talk to us- has anyone else had that kind of experience?

@Georgie_Girl if you feel comfortable sharing, what kind of words on sentences have helped diffuse your loved one? No pressure though!

@CheerBear thats quite brave of you - it is so powerful to be able to let people know you have had experiences which can help them feel less alone too.

[Lauz]

Welcome @Determined - great to have you here. Also good that you had a conversation around that that was well recieved, thanks for sharing 😊

[Shaz51]

@CheerBear , @Lauz  it was hard at first, when Mr shaz finally spoke , I would start to cry 

A lot better now as I got over the guilt about is it what I did 

Now I know better xx