Respite needed

[Jatz]

Hi, this is my first time posting.

I have a young adult daughter with complex mental health needs: ADHD, schizophrenia, BPD. The schiz and BPD are recent diagnoses, although I’m sure she has had BPD for about 10 years.

She is very difficult to live with. She has little insight. She won’t  take meds etc

She has a beautiful young daughter, who also lives with us. I am looking into guardianship of my grandchild because my daughter does not parent her at all. She spends her single parent payment on vapes, food deliveries and other waste. Lately, her money management has been so bad that she demands my husband and I lend her money, that she promises to repay, but never does. If we try to calmfully put in boundaries, she screams at us, and keeps at it until we give in. Tonight, it happened in front of her child, and she was scared. This broke me tonight.

I would really like to know if there are services where my daughter can stay long term. We don’t want to live like this any more. She couldn’t survive independently. 

[Jatz]

I meant to add that we live in Perth. If anyone knows of suitable services 🙏🏼

[Snowie]

Hi @Jatz 

It sounds like you are going through so much at the moment. Even though she probably doesn't show it, your daughter is very lucky to have you. It is so hard when children are involved too. I hope your grand daughter is going ok too.

Does she see a psychologist or a psychiatrist? I know that when I have been admitted before it was my psychiatrist that got it all done.

Have you looked into this website

Residential services - Getting help | Mental Health Commission

Please keep using this forums. Do deserve just as much support as your daughter.

[Jatz]

Thank you. I wasn’t aware of this. She sees a psychiatrist in the public system (although she is distrustful of him). I will ask the psych about tjis.

[tyme]

Where I live, there are continued care units where the residents stay long/er term. They pay a certain percentage of their income as rent. There is 24/7 care, activities, groups etc that they organise for residents to attend. I wonder if this will help her @Jatz ?

I don't know if any such thing is available in Perth. Are you able to speak to her treating team about it?

[Bow]

Hi @Jatz  that all sounds really rough and must be so difficult for your granddaughter to be exposed to all of this. 

Id be speaking with your community mh team. They will know what is available in your area and would be able to put in all the necessary referrals. Does she have a case manager? Or just psychologist and psychiatrist? 

[Jatz]

I will speak to them, now that I know services are there. I suspect the process will be harder than it looks, and my daughter will resist. Her mental health fluctuates so often, that it’s hard to know which level of care she needs.
Thank you for your support.

[AuntJobiska]

Hi…

wondering… does your daughter have access to the NDIS? It’s a double edged sword; ideally she wouldn’t because you wouldn’t predict she’d be permanently disabled severely at this point, but if you did, she’d get access to heaps of services…

Carer’s Gateway is where I’d go. And I don’t know of they still have a Mental Health Fellowship or equivalent (I think our state’s is calling itself Skylight for some idiotic reason) in WA - ask them for help. Then get a mental health care plan from a GP and see a psychologist for support for yourself (tell the GP you have an adjustment disorder) - ask for someone who is familiar with the guardianship space. Write a letter to your daughter’s treating psychiatrist- you can talk to them, they just can’t say anything to you without her permission - detailing the situation. Go talk to your daughter’s GP (you can talk to them, they can’t talk to you, too). If the child is at childcare/school, talk to them.

hopefully I’ve helped

[Shaz51]

hello @Jatz 

Thinking of you lots and wondering how you and your family are going xx