Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

• Top ten tips for carers

• Number 9

• Get creative.

• Learn about fun ways to keep a healthy mind frame, e.g. write your daily experiences in a book or draw how you feel.
• Try to look on the bright side of life, e.g. the glass is half full.
•  

[Shaz51]

• Top ten tips for carers

• Number 10

• Try to create a stress free environment.

• Try to have a comfortable and welcoming environment and a tidy organised space, as it can help relax and de-stress everyone.
• Try to keep noise levels to a minimum because a quiet space can be soothing, and allow you to gain a sense of control.

[Former-Member]

Creating a stress free environment:

Checking in as feeling down on myself, had a good day yesterday and felt I stuffed it up by asking Mr Darcy for an opinion on something that I probably should have delayed asking as it inadvertently drew attention to his condition and the conversation changed to being about that. The result was that at the end of a good day, a 20 minute conversation left him feeling down on himself which, if I had kept my mouth shut could have been avoided.

Not looking for sympathy, more advice as to how to judge when it is a good time to ask our for opinions on matters that have the potential to draw attention to their condition even though the primary purpose is not about it, but is a consequence of it.

Darcy

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member, my friend

I am still learning  to do that @Former-Member

sometime I make the mistake of saying something at bedtime , and in the morning Mr Shaz says he did not have a good nights sleep , and I feel guilty and bad for saying what I said

sometimes I find I can drop suggestions now and then about a subject and ease ino a talk in the future

[Shaz51]

• some more tips
• Try to be patient.

• Recovery can be a long journey and not everyone is willing or able to understand their own condition at first.
• It may take time for a person to open up to you about mental health issues, even if you are close. They may only share as much as they feel safe to.

[Determined]

Hi @Former-Member

Sometimes there is never a good time to ask a question. I often feel I stuff things up by asking about somthing and creating a problem that could have been avoided. For our situation at the end of a good day is often the only time to ask with any hope of being objective but still it is easy to read it wrong. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Shaz51 @Determined

Thanks for your tips. Also checked in on one of the support websites I use.

Hope I do not offend anyone - these are a couple of carer support tenets from a peer support group called Fresh Hope (is a church based group) it is a website that gave me hope that you can live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis (patient insight being a key to this program). These tenets are balanced with a patient one along similar lines.

My loved one’s mental health challenge has also left me feeling helpless and hopeless. Therefore, I choose the help of others in learning about the disorder and choosing healthy boundaries for myself.

I haven’t always responded to my loved one’s mental health issue in ways that were good for the relationship. Therefore, I choose to learn better ways to communicate with, support, and encourage my loved one.

http://freshhope.us/about-fresh-hope/

Darcy

[Shaz51]

• Another Tip ;
• Try to be understanding and respectful.

• It may hard for the person and emotions can run high. Try to remain calm and understand it’s a difficult time.
• Sometimes people may not be fully aware of the effect of their actions and experience powerful and confusing emotions. Try to understand and respect them and try not to react in a judgmental way. Learning to cope with troubling symptoms is a key part of recovery.

[Shaz51]

another tip

• Try to involve your love one in social or physical activities.

• It is healthy to get out of the house and be in a social setting, getting fresh air and sunlight.

• Physical activities such as swimming or running can help with their health and well-being, also helping get the heart and lungs stronger.

[Shaz51]

Another tip is;

• Have a healthy and positive relationship with your love ones

• Having a loving relationship can relieve stress and create safety, it can be stressful if the relationship isn’t supportive and trusting.

• Show and tell the person that you are supportive, they may feel isolated because of their condition.