Ups and Downs

[Catlady1979]

Hello everyone,

The past few weeks have been up and down for various reasons.

The main issues have been.

🔴 Overthinking and over analysing every single mistake I make (real or imagined)

🟠 Passive suicide ideation though thankfully these thoughts have passed.

🟡 Feeling like everything I do is never good enough.

🟢 Grief from leaving a church community that became unsafe for me to remain in.

🔵 Not wanting to leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary and wanting to go home as soon as possible when I'm out.

🟣 Executive functioning issues are a thorn in my side.

For context: I've been diagnosed with ADHD, mild autism, major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder and learning difficulties in some areas such as maths - I've been diagnosed with most of these things several times in my 45 years of life but I've only been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder in the last 10 years.

Personality wise, I'm an introvert which probably doesn't help too much with the social anxiety 😂

Honestly, I feel lost, stagnant and unsettled in all areas of my life, and the only things keeping me going are my meds, my beloved cat and watching reels/video clips on food gardening, cooking, nature, animals and humour on both YouTube and Instagram.

What am I doing now?

❤️ I'm in the process of re-engaging in services with SANE.

🧡 I'm unlearning, relearning and navigating a much healthier way to live as a person of faith which will take some time.

💛 I'm learning to live slowly and peacefully in the midst of my inner-city neighbourhood.

💚 I'm slowly but surely starting to set and implement strong and healthier boundaries with some of the people in my life as not having good boundaries has been a problem for me in the past.

💙 I'm learning to say NO to things and people instead of being a people pleaser or yes person.

💜 I'm learning to just it take it one day at a time, one thing at a time and put one foot in front of the other.

🤎 I have deleted two of my social media pages to reduce the negativity and toxicity I see on those platform (I got rid of Facebook and Twitter/X)

❤️ I've curated Instagram to only receive certain things on my news feed and I'm planning to clean up my YouTube page and do the same thing.

That's all I have today 🌻🕊️

[rav3n]

hey @Catlady1979 thanks so much for sharing. i love your plan for what you're working on now - social media is a big one that impacts my mental health too and being able to minimise the toxic/negative contents sounds like such a great idea. relearning things is also a big one, i feel like that really helps when we feel lost.

keen to hear how your journey goes 💙

[Catlady1979]

@rav3n

Social media can really impact on someone's mental health much more than people actually realise especially if it's used in the wrong way or we start following and/or engaging with people who post and promote some brand of negativity.

In my opinion Twitter/X is probably one of the worst social media platforms for anyone with a mental health condition and while I wasn't targeted or bullied by anyone on there, what I saw was more than enough for me to delete that account and leave it alone.

Facebook is just a major waste of time for me and I don't get a lot from being on there. It's also slowly becoming a cesspool for various brands or negativity.

I guess what I'm really trying to learn here is to be more discerning and selective as to what I'm exposed to and who gets access to me and my life, etc 🕊️

[rav3n]

@Catlady1979 i deleted twitter a while back for that exact reason! my instagram feed has also been really rough lately, and i have been using the 'not interested' feature more now so i can tailor a safer feed. i used to deactivate instagram every few months too, it was really nice get that detox. 

100% agree with you, i think that being selective and careful with what you choose to interact with is a great way to go about it. social media can be really great when used well, but to do that, we all do need to take a step back and re-evaluate our usage/interactions. there's so many influencers out sharing opinions on things they've got no expertise around... i've been working on keeping an eye on that too now

[Catlady1979]

@rav3n

I actually deleted my old Instagram account and created a brand new one. It's definitely much better now.

Here's how I've curated the new IG page.

🟥 Only follow pages that actually interest me - I tend to follow educational and positivity pages, etc.

🟧 Keep my profile on private and dismiss any friend/follow requests from accounts that either look dodgy or those that are operated by people I really don't want to associate with.

🟨 I block accounts operated by people who were directly or indirectly involved in any traumatic event in my life whenever I come across them - People from my high school years are a good example of this.

🟩 Use discernment and unfollow pages, and if necessary hit that block button if I see anything signs of that page becoming negative or unsafe for me to follow or otherwise engage with.

🟦 Do a routine check on my follow list and clean it up as necessary - I haven't needed to do this yet.

🟪 Set healthy boundaries as to when I go on IG and how long I spend on there each day - This is something I'm currently working on 🕊️

[rav3n]

@Catlady1979 that list is amazing. the last dot point around setting healthy boundaries for screen time is also one i'm working on. do you have an apple device? there's a screen time limit setting that you can add on apple devices which are quite helpful, but i'm not too sure if there's an equivalent for android and other devices.

[Catlady1979]

@rav3n

I have an Android phone and I'm not sure if the have that timer feature but I'll check.

I have heard that IG has a timer you can set up and I'll look at that too.