Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Whoa, that was a big day for you @eth ..... sounds like you’re sifting it for the good bits ..... hugs 💜

Our place in the east has no balcony space @eth, but you have got me thinking ..... there is a wall in the laundry that might work for a mini wall-garden of herbs.  We will be away for a long time across the end of each year though, but there might be a neighbour who could look after it for us.

The place in the west will be neglected a lot, although my mr will be coming and going each week.  He won’t even look at balcony pots or wall garden, much less lift a finger to it.  He has blinkers on with his ed-driven lifestyle.  Might be able to find some desert-living plants that could survive.

I might have to make some sculptured plants that are funky art pieces, and just find community gardens to go and walk in.

[Mazarita]

Hi @greenpea, really glad your psychologist appointment went well. I relate to you with the anger issues. It was the reason I was put on anti-psychotic medication around 2012. I have a history of verbally abusing those closest to me, which I'm very much not proud of. I too had no desire or intent to be an angry person, and was horrified to find myself acting that way without control. Aside from the awfulness of it for loved ones, it eroded my sense of self very badly too. The years on the anti-psychotic meds (which stopped it pretty much straight away), have also given me the space to work on that major issue in my life and I haven't done anything like it for years now. Very glad there's no sign of it returning now that I'm off the anti-psychotic medication altogether. My life is relatively stress-free these days though (partly by my own efforts to reduce external stressors). This makes it easier to manage my anger. I imagine you have a lot of stress caring for your son especially, which in my mind would make it much more understandable why you might find anger bubbling inside you. Wishing you the very best in your progress with that. 

Hi @eth, your experience with public activism sounds very scary. Also so sorry you had those terrible experiences with DV. Were you able to return to safe spaces in between parts of the EMDR, and then again at the end? Good to hear you had a full day too. The flourish centre sounds like a VIP version of the place I go to, which is very small and only has one medium sized room for all activities. Seems reasonable that you just checked the place out yesterday, rather than doing any art activities. I remember being so nervous when I first went to the mental health centre here a few years ago and those initial nerves last for a little while. But the more I went, the more comfortable I felt. Now I almost feel like I'm part of the furniture. Sorry to hear your back is still giving you grief. I would be at the physio for that kind of thing. Of course you may have different ideas. But the five sessions of physio the doctor referred me for earlier in the year have worked wonders on my painful legs and feet. I wonder if you are still around, now that I've finished this reply. Would be lovely to chat again in real time this morning, if possible. 

Hi @Faith-and-Hope. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

👋💕 @Mazarita .....

So glad the physio work made a real difference .....

Thinking of you too @CheerBear @greenpea @outlander @Former-Member

[Mazarita]

@Faith-and-Hope, what's in store for you today? I have plans in my mind, but, as is my new way, I'm not saying until afterwards what they might be. However, I have done a couple of chores this morning before coming online (again following @eth's lead): made my bed, took all the washing off the line (four loads), folded and brought it in. All that remains is the put away part, pretty easy for later. 

[eth]

@Faith-and-Hope I'm impressed by the way you are keeping such a positive focus and seeing the possibilities.  Maybe some mini-cactus type plants?

@Mazarita I've already used the 5 allied health ap'ts for this year on extra psychology.  But may book an ap't for GP and a referral to physio Tuesday next week (when I can get there) and just pay out of my own funds.  If it's still a problem.

[Mazarita]

@eth, ah yes, I now remember about the five extra sessions of psychology you got instead. Hope your body's natural healing processes settle it down before next Tuesday. Do you have any plans for today?

[eth]

Hi to you too @TAB sorry I forgot to tag you.  Hope today is going well so far for you.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I had been considering not making my bed @Mazarita, as mr.f&h is treating this house as if we have already moved out, and is even throwing rubbish down on the floor ..... but you know what ?  I have decided to treat this house as my home until the last box is closed, so I am going to make my bed, and ask D2 to sweep up the rubbish (I can’t face doing that).   Then I am going out on what was my usual walk to the coffee shop where I am meeting up with a friend, and I will take her with me to do chores of things that need to happen to start the move.  Rather than “letting this happen” I am going to turn and face it .... in baby steps ..... and find my way through it that way, not without a lot of tears methinks .... bit tears and I are not strangers to each other .... 😐✊

[eth]

@Mazarita  My only plan for today is cooking a frittata (egg pie!) later for 3 of us.  Bro is away again.  I'm giving myself a 'nothing day' after being out Sun Tue and Wed.  And after yesterday's psych ap't in particular.

Glad to hear my do something first plan is working for you.  This morning it was only make the bed and coffee for me.

Hope any plans you have for today come to fruition.  It's cold and wet here today so a good day for cabin dwelling.

[Mazarita]

@Faith-and-Hope, hugs for your tears. Good on you for keeping the home feeling alive for yourself until you are out of there. Makes me smile thinking of you doing your usual walk again, this time meeting with a friend. I admire your positive approach to the big changes.

@eth, frittata sounds lovely, as does your recent herbal dish from the garden. It made me long for your cooking, as you say, the vitality of such fresh food from your own garden. Over time I'm getting such a lovely image of your cabin (despite the smallness), with flowers from the garden and other creative things. Do you have the flyscreen for summer yet? I get needing a quiet day after a few busy days this week, and after going through heavy stuff yesterday.