Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

Your independent mother has had a powerful positive effect in your life - she has passed it down and now it is going back to her - with your obvious preparedness to help her stay at home in the last years of your life - so good to hear - it's a boomerang

It cannot have been easy for her to raise a teenager alone but she did it - and it always seems to me that you have a very positive outlook in life - I wonder that you can manage all of it - my Little Family - Shaz, Mr Shaz and Poor Little Kidney - as hard as all of this is you seem to be making the most of your life

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Appleblossom

I agree with you that the children of educated mothers do better and my daughter is an example of that. Of course she grew up with me educating myself and some of her essays had comments that could only come from a young teen who was hearing a person who was reading philosophy. I was delighted to read from one of her Year 10 Essays

"Not all Head Bangers are drug addicts" - something well within the culture of the time but also something from the difficult to relate - Aristotlean Square of Opposition - I loved it

She's not academic like me and didn't want to continue going ahead with English Literature as an HSC Option - she came home from school when I was preparing for my year's study wherever I was in English that year - and gave up her HSC but successfully achieved a 4 year gardening apprenticeship and went on modernating her knowledge when she had the chance and now is a highly qualified horticulturist  and I know I have said this before - but yes - that is one person's success passing down to the next generation. Her daughter started university but had to discontinue for health reasons but she has second year subjects. 

All my daughter's step-children have completed apprenticeships too and my great-grand-daughters are doing well at school - education is something that passes down the generations and I think I got the idea of self-educating from my father who studied at lot through his career - he was a self-made man and did well - 

So - here we are - personally a good argument for coninuing education

Also - and interesting point - what would a perfect experience of childhood be? It has to vary from person to person - a person who is interested in continuing education is more likely to offer their children a broad range of educational experiences and they are everywhere - people who cannot provide a wide example to their children would be more likely to feel the guilt of this if that's what troubles them. Unfortunately not everyone would feel troubled by this and it is very sad - I feel this is a problem of ignorance but then - financial success or lack of it doesn't mean ignorance either

I am really getting in deep here

Study is my life - I have been working on that this afternoon - I have had a busy and fulfilling day

When I was younger I tended to be arrogant - that might have been other people's opinions but I had learned to let the teacher know if I knew the answers to their questions and also I loved knowing this myself - my father was a natural teacher too and my uncle and educated teacher of maths and physics - I never had to go far for help with my school work

But yes - people often resented me and like you - I was possibly a scapegoat but I have been comfortable in my own skin about that - 

Thanks Apple - I think I have been ranting but self-education is a favourite subject of mine

Dec

[Maggie]

@outlander Thanks for the tag. I will read later

[Owlunar]

How wonderful it is to wake up and find this thread so well supported

Thanks everyone

I am reading the magazine I told you about - and my next topic here will be on Life Traps - something everyone writes about here without knowing this name - I am sure other people will be interested in reading about this - as I am surely

I will also list the name and publishers of this magazine - I have borrowed a copy for a short while and intend to have one sent to me next year - it's an annual publiciation

All the best today everyone and I hope today is as good to you as it possibly can be

Dec

[Sophia1]

Hello @Owlunar @Maggie @Shaz51 @utopia @Appleblossom 

I have read most of the posts and actually felt ...yes...yes...yes...

At the same time...I am a very intelligent ..strong female...

There are so many different factors in my life that I have blanked..

There have been periods where I have not been connected with what I now know is "self"

or I should perhaps say what is referred to as "self"

I honestly do not really feel the "self" thing...

At the moment it is too hard for me to put into words by what and how I was affected by different stages of my life...

there is just too much being hurled at me from all angles yet again...

I do have a sense of being silenced...not being listened to...not being heard...being dismissed...

these feelings I have carried with me throughout my whole life....even during times of happiness...they have always been in the background...

I was not abused by family..

I was abused by two different men in my life...I am now remarried and with someone who respects me and accepts me for who I am...even though I drive him around the bend often...

I strongly feel that it is not just females who are affected in this way...

I think that men are too...men can suffer greatly from expectations ...maternal and paternal...society...cultures...

females perhaps might  open up about such things eventually more than males...

of course cultures vary....centuries also....positions in life also..

This subject for me is important still though....

There is something about the female instinct...intuition....anatomy....cycles...hormones

I am just not able to express these things in words at the moment...

I am currently in sensitised protective maternal mode....spinning out of my control...all of my instincts are hanging on tight...

I am interested in continuing to be tagged...

This can become a very deep subject...

One thing that I would like to say...apologising in advance should my comment upset anyone...

I do believe that one has to be very careful when discussing "well educated"....

well educated in what?

lived experience is a classic example....so much education in real life experiences...

travel....experiencing the world...

emotional intelligence..emotional education....ongoing...

the word education is very austere and can be very limiting ...excluding...

there are so many bright...life intelligent people in this world who have not had "education" that is discussed here...

I am not disputing the value of further education...I have been down this path myself...

For me "education" is also about learning to not feel superior...to judge others...

Learning is a better fit for me as that is what life is about constantly learning...

take care all fellow learners...

accept me as I am 

[Former-Member]

My low self esteem never ever came from my mum putting me down, ever. I’ve probably put my mum through more hell growing up through issues I have with myself

[Appleblossom]

We are all so different @Former-Member

@Sophia1 I am with you ... on the learning thing.  What I have found is that the best educated people I have met are not that arrogant, it is the one's trying to compete...

@Shaz51 You and your mum are special.

@Maggie

@Owlunar

I am heavily study oriented whether or not it is in a formal course matters not a jot.

Just the way I am shaped.

Important conversation.

[Shaz51]

thanks @Appleblossom, @Owlunar, @Former-Member, @Sophia1, @Maggie

even though I was emotionally / mentally abused by my dad , when mum and I moved away and lived with my uncle and aunty who had 4 children of their own , we lived there for 3 years and my uncle became my second dad but then he passed away

then my next real uncle who has been there all my life had helped me and he became my next dad to look up at

he gave me away at my wedding , he was soo over the moon when I asked him , he is 89 now and gives me the biggest hugs ever just like the ones he gives to his 3 children

[Owlunar]

Hi @Sophia1@Shaz51@Appleblossom@Former-Member@Maggie@utopia@Outlander65 and many others

I feel as if I have abandoned the thread for a few days - alas - I have had trouble with the forum format and I hope this has been corrected because it seems that it has all gone back the way it should - I was unable to reply to any messages

But I am here now and hopefully I can answer posts I have not for a few days - 

I would like to thank the techies behind the scenes for helping to fix this problem

Dec

[Owlunar]

It's so great that you had so much support from your uncles @Shaz51 - that would have meant a great deal to you and your motherd - I am sure

My father's brothers have been there for me through the years to - especially one of them - and he was more like a big brother than an uncle and when my own family wasn't able to deal with my life-problems my uncle and aunt were always there

I am so glad for you Shaz - glad for your uncles too - and for me with my uncles

Dec