Lived Experience Forum

[Tchef]

I'm bipolar, from previous experience I think it is better to keep that to myself as other people judge, Especially in the work scenario. Maybe it's just me maybe I'm just too worried about what other people think.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Tchef

Stigma with mental illness can exist - I have experienced this. I prefer to keep it to myself as my personal business. No one else's business.  Hope you are doing alright and hoping to see you around the forums 😊

[Tchef]

Hi there -Enigma-
How are you?
Cheers for making me feel so welcomed, honestly I've been having trouble coping at the moment, and it's nice to have a forum like this where can say what's on my mind and have supportive people like you especially when your own family doesn't get it and don't even pick up the phone to talk to you.
Cheers tchef

[Tchef]

I'm a chef, I I got diagnosed with bipolar early last year, before the put me on the medication I used get off on being busy that's what being chef all about and I'm very good at my job but now it feels like I can't think straight, always exhausted, can't concentrate, lose my track of thought and very flat. Among other things I believe the definition of a man is someone who has a job and the living pays the bills. I'm so sick of this crap sometimes I just wish it will just end.

[MaryMahem]

I am currenty in hospital trialling rTMS.  If I'm honest I do not think this will help me and I'm wondering how long I should wait after leaving to leave this mortal coil.

[Eden1919]

i feel completely hopeless today 

[Delicatessen]

Hi @Tchef

I totally agree with this post.  I very much feel the same.  When I was much younger, I used to tell anyone who'd listen that I was Bipolar with great fanfare, and wash my meds down with whatever grog was available.  Almost as a licence to behave any way I wanted to.  I was bullet proof.

Things have changed a great deal since then.  My illness has been diagnosed as acute, I've experienced a number of disasters (particularly when I've been lax about my medication) and I've done the hospital thang - all of which have given me some huge wake-up calls.

I definitely don't tell people that I'm Bipolar at work - when I have told in the past, my managers/supervisors have either not known how to respond or (in some cases) thought they needed to act as my psychiatrist.  Being pulled up while walking down the hall to the tune of "have you been taking your medication" is not a pleasant experience.  I find that disclosure often makes me feel very anxious afterwards ("so was I right to tell them?"), so I make a very big point of not sharing the detais of my mental illness with anyone at work.  Sometimes I wish I could tell them (particularly when I've been hypermanic) so they can understand if I'm not myself...and at times this also adds to my anxiety.  Can't win either way I guess...will just opt not to disclose for now.

I have, however, managed to share with two friends very recently that I'm Biploar.  One wanted to know a bit more, but then left it at that.  The other couldn't have cared less (was happy to listen but not pry) - which, I now realise, actually made me feel safe and supported.

Who knows what the right answer is to all this...?

[Former-Member]

I'd just like to thank the peoples for this post an their replies. I'm in the process of working out how to get help, Been in denial for many years. I find it almost impossible to talk to friends and family, I try to tell people but i guess it's too cryptical and the message isn't recieved. It is goo to hear about how other people go about this. This is the post i didn't know i was looking for. Thank you. I shall now return to lurking in the shadows

[Former-Member]

HI @Former-Member - im glad that this thread was helpful to you and wanted to say hi and welcome. Its great that you posted. I know lots of people take quite a while to post (and maybe there are lots of people who read that we dont know about too which is great if its helpful!) and so please feel free to post or not post, how ever it feels most comfortable to you, just glad that the forums have been helpful to you. Take care

[Tchef]

I felt good, hopeful, positive and productive all day but as soon as night falls my freaking demons come out to play, I'm so sick of this shit, I just want this crap to just end, I've just about had enough. I keep thinking how much easier it be if I just end it, but I've got dogs which have been with for 9yrs since they were puppies, they're like my kids and I know that they would get put down and there's no way I could do that to them