Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

I don't mind being a passenger, @Determined so usually Mr D drives. He doesn't mind if I do, in fact we each did half the drive home.  

[Former-Member]

I do not know if it is caused by a lack of food in the family home when Mr D was young or OCD but he has a thing about picking up and eating food that has been dropped, going well beyond the 5 second rule.  He also insists on finishing disgusting food that he has prepared.

The other day he fried a couple of eggs to put on his crumpets (they were a bit mixed together so he had to divide them). When he went to eat one, it dropped on the carpet and there were bits scattered over an area.  The dog was interested ... but no ... he sat on the floor, picked up and ate every skerrick. He now has a tickle in his throat which he is putting down to carpet fibres.

One of the most notable cases of disgusting food which still has me laughing despite being many years ago - sandwiches he made thinking the dog roll was devon  (fritz).  He thought they tasted funny, but would not throw them out -  ate the lot.  Needless to say he hasn't made that mistake again.

[Former-Member]

Mr D has been keeping a mood chart for quite some time now and it concerns me that he rarely marks his mood above euthymia (that is neither happy nor sad). I wonder if it is a side effect of the medication, part of the nature of his illness or a need to find something meaningful to do (this has been absent since his crisis). 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Listening @Former-Member ..... 💕

[Former-Member]

@Chrissy1

Thought I would tag you across here as we were getting a bit off topic for the thread.

Expressed emotion is one of those things that when we understand things can be quite liberating rather than feeling that we are the only adult in the room.  

The very nature of many diagnoses is that patients do not have the emotional resilience that the rest of the population have. I think.we as carers can feel a little of this if criticism comes our way when we are doing our best to manage our situations. Additionally if our loved ones are psychotic, manic or otherwise unwell they often have no idea of the chaos that is created in the lives of their loved ones.

I found the analogy of how you would treat someone with dementia to be helpful - no point arguing with them - learning how best to handle things that crop up.

This does not mean that we become doormats and establishing boundaries is necessary.   My Mr Darcy is a gentle person so I do not have experience with volatility. There are other mother daughter threads that may be of help to you.

[Determined]

@Former-Member

Hope things are going as well as they can for you and mr D.  Have been thinking of you both just have not had the capacity to read all of the different posts and keep up with everyone. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Determined

Things remaining steady here. 

[Former-Member]

Something a little bit heartening happened today. I accompanied Mr D to GP visit, as he was sorting out a script the doc commented that he had not had a lot of experience with the AP Mr D is on (in the past he specialised in palliative care so not a cause for alarm) BUT as a result of us doing routine monitoring he now ensures all patients he prescribes this med for have regular ECGs. 

From what I read, this is often missed, often due to communication problems, so knowing the GP has learned from our experience and in his words will use 'best practice' for other patients was really nice to know.

[outlander]

that is good news @Former-Member im glad gp is thorough

[Former-Member]

@outlander I keep Mr D to schedule. Three monthly GP checks to ensure monitoring happens.  We always book the next appt on the way out of the last 😀.  Our routine got disrupted with an abnormally showing, next visit we will be back on track.