Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Zam]

Hi @Queenie, I'm glad you did check out the thread so that I could at least read your post. I should read more threads on this website soon and post more often. So many interesting people on here including yourself.

i have heard about schizoaffective disorder being like a mix between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. That truly sounds like a rough disorder to go through and I truly hope you are overall doing okay.

Is there anything in particular that you are stressed about? 

I can relate so much to voices not giving you any peace or relief. Music helps me a bit when that happens. Does anything make it a little easier to handle them when they do that for you? It's certainly not good hearing such negative things about yourself in your own head all the time. Hopefully soon they ease up and give you some peace.

sorry to hear about the delusions you are going through. Again I can relate to those and government type delusions. But I think the hardest part with the delusions is actually knowing they are in fact delusions. You said they are delusions so that is fantastic that you are very self aware, doesn't make it much easier with dealing with them but it's still a amazing step.

what are CBT principles? I don't even think I have heard of that before, so that's got me really interested to find out about that.

does the monthly therapy help you? I do therapy every 2 weeks, sometimes weekly and it doesn't really seem to do much for me anymore. I think it's basically just my psychologists way of making sure I'm still on medication

[Grasshopper3]

👍

[Former-Member]

hello @Zam

Great that you are still checking out this thread.

CBT stands for cognitive behaviour therapy and is the main principle used in psychology these days.

DBT is another form of therapy Dialectical Behaviour Therapy used more for bipolar, bpd type symptoms.

[Grasshopper3]

@Zam hi me again! (I dont mind if others helping me with this question? @Former-Member, @CherryBomb, @patientpatient, @Shimmer, @Lunar, @Ivana, @Appleblossom, @Shaz51, @Barbara, @Acacia)

I have found when my son says things he really believes in, I don't reply any more. He lives in a world in which, if he gives in and stops his meds, will be very destructive for him. 

if i don't reply he stops talking, but I realise my ignoring him is possible not the way. He can talk like a record and i have explained to him many many times what he believes in, it feels like a threath to what I believe in.

I sort of learned you cannot go into an discussion with someone with a MI as there will be no end to it.

However, I love him very much and do anything to try to keep him on 'my side'.

May I ask you, what works for you? Is there anybody in your life, you feel you can talk to and you won't get judged? Does this person hint you, you are going 'off track'? 

My son suffers from paranoid SZ, he doesn't hear voices as such, but does believe birds are microchipped and are sending him signals for example. He believes water has memory. He believes drinking his own urine keeps him healthy.

He's anti pharmaceutical industriies, anti Governments, doesnt want to vote, anti anything he doesnt understand how it works in 'real' life. Doesnt believe in Banks, money, homeownership or renting, doesn't believe in having a name even. Birthcertificates are fraude and something about copyright.

I tell him he is very intelligent and hears and sees more than others. I tell him he could help other people. He doesnt have to live the life i'm living, working every day from 8 till 5pm to pay the bills. There is a supportive network out there, and he has finally accepted Centrelink money so he can pay for his smokes and take away food if he wants. Hey, is is even saving some money now, YAYAY! The fact, he is paying a lot of tax when buying smokes which goes back to support the government has no effect...)

I have all respect for people living 'outside the square', but if he follows his 'path' it is going to be very very difficult. He has figured that out for himself. Having no name doesnt really work. He could be in the "Truman Show" and who knows, maybe 'they" are playing games with us... 

@ZamIt sounds like you have found something you are good at, like putting yourself up here, answering questions so we all get a better understanding of how the brain ticks.

Let me know what your thoughts are about people trying to give you advice and how you deal with people in general? Are you aware you think different and that it can potential harm you? 

Thanks so much, I'm trying to get my head around all of this, never had any training in dealing with MI, it was just thrown in my face when my son was growing up with ADHD first, now Paranoid SZ.

Love to you all

[Zam]

thanks @Former-Member, i have heard of cognetive behavior therapy but never heard it reffered to as CBT. Should have figured that out 🙂

didnt know about DBT though so thanks for sharing that

[Zam]

Hi @Grasshopper3, i am the same as you described your son, where as if i stop taking meds i would basically sink back down into my own world. Even on meds at times it can be a struggle not to get sucked back in. the meds makes your mind clearer on what is real and what isnt but that doesnt mean at times you still cant help but question what the medication is doing.

Thats pretty great that your son feels that he can talk to you though, im sure it can get very repetitive but it goes to show how much he trusts you.

you said about not going in a discussion with someone with MI because there will be no end to it, and im sure thats true but looking at it from your sons point of view, maybe he feels you are one of the very few who he can see's doesnt look down on him when talking or straight away tells him what he believes to be true isnt in fact real (btw not a good idea to do, since that would only push him away from you).

think of it like as trying to tell people that the sky is blue and everyone you try telling it, looks down on you, tells you thats wrong and not real and that you are sick and need help. Naturally you wouldnt believe it and think everyone else is wrong and against you. Its like that with delusions. they are so real to the people who experience it and when we talk about it, we get judged and told its not real and that just gets incredibly frustrating.

Your son must feel like he can talk to you about it and maybe you are the only one he feels like that with and that makes him talk about it a lot due to you being the only one he can confind in.. any way just a way of looking at it i guess.

I never had anyone i felt that way about. I thought everyone was against me and i would shut myself off from everyone. only times i would talk about what was happening with me was when i would go on medication for periods at a time. I was always extremly paranoid about everyone and it made things really hard.

Your son does sound really intelligent. i can relate a lot with what you wrote about your son, even the diagnosises with adhd ( was diagnosed with that as a kid) and paranaoid schizophrenia.

Its great though that your son has you supporting him and just being there for him. i think those who have loving supportive family members, find it a bit easier with recovery.

With the question you said about how i feel about getting advice, well off meds i would never ask for it since i thought everyone was against me and in hospital when people would just give it to me, i would get very frustrated and annoyed.

I think if you are going to give advice, do it in a way that doesnt necessarily conflict with his delusions. just start small and build up the trust more and more.. delusions are horrible and are very real to the people experiencing them, so conflicting with that in huge ways, will just push someone away i feel.

Also yep im aware i think different now due to illness. off meds i always believed i thought different because i wasnt brainwashed. i got to a point where i didnt even care about harming myself and that was when i would always end up in hospitals..

anyway it sounds like you were thrown in the deep end with your son but also that you are doing a  amazing job. does he see any psychiatrists or anyone? if so i would let them do most of the work with trying to go against his delusions and so on. you just being there and giving your support will mean the world to him

hope this post helps in any way

[Grasshopper3]

@Zam
Wow thank you thank you thank you.
this is great, what an awesome reply.
I would love to show your answer to him, but then he might think I'm letting him down as I have let others in 'his reality' and so on.
I keep this support thingy to myself.
Hope you don't mind I contact you if more questions come up? Look after yourself!
Love,
🌷

[Zam]

@Grasshopper3 thank you and you are most welcome.

If your son likes his privacy and doesnt like it when people talk about him, i personally wouldnt show him the thread. It sucks but its so easy to lose trust in people even for the smallest reasons when you are mentally ill. But you know your son best so you should do whatever you feel is best.

If my parents didnt follow their insticnts and did what they thought was right, i dont know if i would still even be around today.

you can message me any time. i reply as soon as i possibly can normally. i study full time at home, so im online often. but if i take awhile to reply its only because i havent seen the posts yet..

hope you are doing well

[Former-Member]

hello @Grasshopper3 @Zam

You are a wonderful mother Matosh and as Zam mentioned your son trusts you. That is an immense achievement when you think about all of the organisations, government, known people he fears in his mind.

I watched a you tube discussion from xavier amador using the leap approach"

listen, empathise, agree, partner

very informative and interesting

It emphasised that when they talk to us they trust us because we do not tell them that they are ill.

they are not in denial they believe that they are well

this all made sense to me

there were great examples of questions and reflective listening to help phrase the questions

i hope that you can gleam some help from the article too

all the best

[Former-Member]

Hello @Zam

How are you?

I know that you will be busy with all of your study.

I hope that you are getting all of the support that you need.

We are always here for you as well should you ever have the need to rant.

You have helped us so much, we want to be here for you too

the power of now