11-06-2018 01:20 AM
I’m new here and am looking forward to being part of this community and hearing your stories.
I have have a young family, a business and I care for my Mother. My Mother has a series of health issues and a long history of addiction, anxiety and depression.
Currently she is experiencing auditory hallucinations. She has finally told her doctor and allowed me to arrange an appointment with a psychologist. This is a very positive step.
It feels really hard caring for someone who refuses to seek help from health professionals. It also feels hard being strong and caring for your Mother when you really just want someone else to be the adult for a while. Apart from my husband and children I don’t have other family members to talk to. Whilst my husband is supportive; having Mum living with us already puts strain on our relationship and finances so I try not to vent my feelings and frustrations to him and stay happy for everyone’s sake.
This is Post sounds negative. I am normally very positive .
I wish you all the best on your journeys
11-06-2018 01:37 AM
Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story here. No doubt many members can relate to the disruption in your life that you have experienced. I hope that you will find the forums to be a supportive place for exploring the issues that have come up for you.
Just a tip, if you put @ before someones name, as in @Jado they will get notified of your post.
All the best
Joe The Lion
11-06-2018 10:43 AM
Good morning @Jado, and welcome to the Sane forums. You will find others here who are in similar situations to yourself. Many people here who will understand and offer care and comfort to fellow carers, such as yourself.
Firstly well done to you for managing to successfully bring up a young family, maintain a marriage and family home, run a business and also lovingly care for your Mum. A major achievement.
Your Mum sounds like she is a very difficult patient to deal with, so well done in getting her to agree to seeing a psychologist. Definitely a positive step.
Its tough when you have so much going on, but next to no outside support from extended family. Do you have friends or work colleagues that you can confide in occasionally or generally just spend time with? I know it would be terribly difficult (with young family, a needy mum, and a business to run), but its vital that you take adequate care of you as well.
I understand you not wanting to burden your husband with your feelings and frustrations in order to maintain the peace. None of us like to unburden on others. But you do need someone you can unload on. Have you spoken to your GP about your situation and how you feel about it? If you havent already, I would suggest you do so. Your GP should know whats happening in your life and how you are coping with everything. It is a major upheaval to suddenly have your Mum living with you under a caring situation. It will definitely have an affect on you and the family dynamics. Its possible you may benefit from speaking to a counsellor or psychologist. They can discuss your thought and feelings and help you with coping methods. You can also access Government support which is available for Carers. I would suggest you avail yourself of those services. You will need time out for your immediate family and yourself at times. The support services are there for the likes of you, so please do consider it. You may think you can cope on your own, but for the long haul, you will need some assistance.
I know everything seems negative and difficult right now, but it can improve with appropriate support. I hope the psych appointment will help with your Mums hallucinations.
Quick background on me - I am a carer for my husband who has PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Alcoholism, and recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. Personally I also experience chronic anxiety and depression as a result of PTSD.
I'm glad you found your way here to the forums, and I hope you benefit from the camaraderie of fellow members.
12-06-2018 02:29 PM
Hi @Jado and welcome to the forums
It's extremely hard to help someone who is reluctant. Great to hear that your mother has agreed to see a psychologist - a very positive step! You might be interested in having a read of this article that discusses some tips to help someone who is resistant.
One of the most important things to remember when caring for someone is to look after yourself as well. You say you don't really have anyone to talk to so I hope being here on the forums will be a good place for you to connect. Also, the following carers associations have helplines and other resources to support carers like yourself:
1800 242 636
Carers Australia is the national peak body representing Australia’s carers for all health conditions. It advocates on behalf of carers to influence policies and services at a national level. Services are provided by a network of State and Territory Carers Associations, including counselling, advice, and information.
An online eight-session course from Carers Australia, providing mental health foundations for carers new to their role.
1300 554 660
Mental Health Carers (formerly ARAFMI) Australia is a collective of organisations whose members have a relative or friend affected by mental illness. These organisations may have different names depending on the State and Territory where you live. Mental Health Carers Australia present the views and perspectives of carers and advocate for changes and services to improve the lives and wellbeing of people affected by mental illness, including carers and family members.
1800 985 944
The Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia is a membership organisation, representing at the national level, the interests of its member organisations and people affected by mental illness. MIFA has member organisations operating in most States and Territories.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia