General chat

[Former-Member]

@Dimity   Understandably your routines have gone off track, you’ve been dealing with lots recently which have been causing you stress and been preoccupying your thoughts.

I sign the POAs and nothing else happened, they were never sent to those who I have nominated to be my POAs.  Few months ago I made new will and signed new POAs with lawyer at legal practice I had previously used for years.  Day I had initial appointment at legal practice the lawyer I saw had a file in her hand when she entered the room, file containing every will and POA I’ve signed with their firm.

some of the flashbacks were linked to appointment with psychologist about 4weeks ago.  2nd time in approx 2yrs I was triggered by her words.  As I said to psychologist on Friday …. first time I gave 2nd chance, for my MH now it’s happened twice I need to move on and work with some one else.  

any confrontation or fear of confrontation In my mind I’m transported back to being a teenager and fearing my dad.

hope you had a pleasant day, whatever you ended up doing

[Dimity]

I feared both parents @Former-Member especially my father, but I guess I was codependent.  I still fear my siblings.

I was triggered by a psychologist the first time I met with her. On the fourth visit she made some inexcusable and untrue remarks which floored me at the time. I mulled over them for a couple of days then decided I couldn't go back. That was last year. I think you've probably made the right decision. You've discussed it with her and she seems unable to change her approach.

I'm now waiting to hear back from my chosen POAs. The solicitor left it to me to get their signatures myself. I don't drive and I rarely see them. I think I'll have to chivvy them and arrange return taxis to get there and back... twice over. Once that's done I'll book my very overdue endoscopy. 

I had a quiet day. I think that was my main aim. I didn't get everything done I'd hoped for but it kept the anxiety at bay for a.while.

I hope you enjoyed your day.

[Dimity]

Hoping you're OK @Former-Member . 

High winds tomorrow.  Stay safe.

[Former-Member]

Going through rough patch @Dimity 

Early yesterday afternoon got text message saying I’d get phone call shortly regarding guided recovery, I’m still waiting for phone call.

message from management this morning.  Due to weather forecast everything cancelled and everyone advised to stay at home plus prepare for possible loss of power

one thing on top of another

[Dimity]

Hope you hear soon re guided recovery @Former-Member .

Thanks for reminding me to charge my phone. I'm nervous of damage to our big tree.

Hope nothing else is going wrong for you. 

I had a trying day yesterday.

[Former-Member]

My body and nervous system not back to its usual atm.  Normal reactiions and feelings for me, goes back decades.

my phone had blocked number the person was phoning on regarding guided recovery.  She left message on phone answering plus sent me email.  Email sent as per info in her email.  Auto reply received from sane, might not get reply for couple days.  6 weeks time I will be back in hospital, wondering if have done right thing.

winds picking up here with top of neighbours colourbond fence vibrating at times.  Sun is out and is pleasant outside.

[Dimity]

@Former-Member the wind is strong here and a rainband is on the way so I came straight back from physio rather than picking anything up in the big shopping centre.

Is there any particular reason you're second guessing the guided recovery? It seems a positive step to me. And you could always ask their advice re timing, whether to start support before the procedure or wait until afterwards. 

I wonder if it's better to aim for a new normal, an acceptable way of being, rather than try to reclaim feelings of decades ago. I think that's what I hope for myself.

[Former-Member]

@Dimity   I’m not “trying to reclaim feelings of decades ago”.

I have various auto reactions to different situations that originated decades ago.  Auto reactions that, sometimes, have connection to my flashbacks.  When I’m triggered my auto reactions kick in.

Be nice to have some knowledge on how to deal with them etc.  last 2yrs with psychologist, tired of hearing that my reactions are understandable based on my past.

I’d like to be left alone for awhile

[Dimity]

@Former-Member apologies, I misunderstood you I thought you said you last felt normal decades ago. 

[Former-Member]

@Dimity there have been different times where response to things I’ve done and/or said have left me feeling I’m being told off and/or excluded.  Responses that have hurt and left me feeling upset.

 I wish you all the best with your piano playing, activities with the social group, your gardening, knitting (plus all other activities you are involved in and/or enjoy doing)..