Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

My issue was I was trying to help a pathological liar, I used CBT to try to sort out what was real and what wasn't and the long term effects it had taken on me.  Until I started using CBT principles, I was completely awash in a sea of haze.  Now my thinking is clear.

[mindbootcamp]

@CherryBomb As a carer, and as a teacher I've found the most practical methods revolve around acceptance - acceptance of the 'moment' as it may be rather than trying to change it, acceptance of worries and concerns rather than struggling with them, and acceptance that I'm not alone in this. None of us are alone - we share a common bond as carers. Reminding myself of that is super helpful.

Breathing into accepting, by using mindfulness to focus on the moment would be my most useful and practical tool! 

It gives a degree of mental freedom and clarity. In the eye of the storm, I can still find calm. 

Thanks for asking!

[CherryBomb]

@snowlee127 seems like it might be hard to watch thoughts when feeling frustrated in a heated argument. This is where mindfulness might be useful to calm oneself down, and then to look at thoughts, and challenge, and change thinking.

What do others think?

[Former-Member]

@CherryBomb  yes a succinct and accurate way I'd explain it too.  Thankyou

[soul]

@Former-Member. I'm with you there. You start to doubt yourself. Your mind becomes muddied and you can be the target of gaslighting. Mindfulness can help clear the waters and give you back some self confidence. 

[snowlee127]

@CherryBomb@Former-Member@soul  Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have to say from learning CBT and mindfulness to apply it in my personal life. It took a good year or so. I use both. Breathing to become less reactive, CBT to resolve the negative emotions. One really interesting thing is that now we know from brain research that brain has muscles too. Practicing these two techniques is like training our brain muscles, so it is easier the next time we practice it. I guess for the carer who is not in that constant crisis; they may find CBT as a long-term useful tool to support their caring role. 

[MissSlytherin]

Hello @mindbootcamp I am a parent of a child with special needs. This is a question.for you And well as @snowlee127 Have you found that your clients have symptoms similar to that of those suffering PTSD? I have personally suffered PTSD, and I often feel that the immense physical and emotional pressure I am under as a parent of a severely disabled child, takes me back to the PTSD type symptoms. I have found the combination of CBT and mindfulness the most effective in those moments. As so many here have mentioned, sometimes we do need to use both.

[Former-Member]

exactly @soul,  I had this discussion here yesterday.. well I put a post in regarding exactly that.  Gaslighting/cognitive dissonance.  I will tag you to our thread if you would like after this?

[MissSlytherin]

@mindbootcamp YES, acceptance is the answer!!

[snowlee127]

@mindbootcamp Spot on! It is such a good example of how we can practice both of techniques at different circumstance!