1300 643 287 (1300 MHF AUS)
06-10-2015 08:49 PM
06-10-2015 08:49 PM
06-10-2015 09:04 PM
06-10-2015 09:04 PM
Hi Jaques,
I can relate to your situation. I have been outside of working life since the year 2001. Lost countless days to sleep, spent most of it in isloation, and here now at almost 37, the full force of the suffering i have endured in my life is becoming apparent.
Only through the support of two loving parents, have i been able to keep myself from sinking into poverty. Outwardly, people think I am doing ok, however, I am suffering profoundly. My future has currently come under question, my career path, after 7 long years of study, wherein i bravely showed up, in spite of my anxiety, committed myself, may now amount to nothing.
My entire identity and self of selfhood is attached to my developing professional self. I gave myself to it completely. At this moment, I am not in a small unit, alone, again, every single day of my life, on a bed, as have I spent most of my life so far.
The intensity of the depression and feeling of isolation I am experiencing right now, I did not know was in the realm of human experience.
For anyone reading this. I could never have anticipated this. Just like any other person, i was absolutely confident i was destined to live a moderate, happy life, working life.
I have reached a point, where I cannot find avenues out of this- which is very concerning to me.
06-10-2015 09:20 PM
06-10-2015 09:20 PM
sorry Karen, i'm really upset, but i have to watch it, speak to you tomorrow be safe, take care
Jacques
06-10-2015 09:23 PM
06-10-2015 09:23 PM
Jacques I'm so sorry I'll be here if you need me.
Take care stay safe
Karen
06-10-2015 09:25 PM
06-10-2015 09:25 PM
I'm here if you need anything
06-10-2015 09:36 PM
06-10-2015 09:36 PM
Karen i don't want to upset you.
I am so scared of ending up in a place like that, most of the patients symptoms i can see in me, the scary part is what if i am out of it and don't know it, i would not be able to cope their, i am just so sad to see what happens to peoples brains and scared about how those places are run.
Sorry Karen i don't handle these things well, but i have an urge to watch them.
Karen please be safe
Jacques
06-10-2015 09:39 PM
06-10-2015 09:39 PM
Jacques deep breathes. Everything is ok and you are safe. Remember that you have a friend that is there for you unconditionally.
Try and distract play some computer games. A hot shower. Something to stay in the present.
06-10-2015 09:44 PM
06-10-2015 09:44 PM
Karen i am triggered big time, how are you coping? it must have triggered you bad too.
06-10-2015 09:46 PM
06-10-2015 09:46 PM
Jacques I know how you are feeling, so overwhelmed but you are at home safe with your mum.
I see myself in some of the people it's really scary. But everyone has a story and everyone's symptoms are unique to them. You are Jacques the kindest person I know. Who is funny, smart, thoughtful, caring, and an amazing friend that is what I see Jacques.
Stay safe I'm for you
06-10-2015 09:51 PM - edited 06-10-2015 09:53 PM
06-10-2015 09:51 PM - edited 06-10-2015 09:53 PM
That's wasnt nearly as bad as the place I stayed. They don't show the fact that you may not see a staff member all day because they are so busy. They also didn't show the violence that happens.
I don't know how I feel it has brought up a lot of bad memories.
Scared that my appointment tomorrow they will want to put me back in. I'm so worried about it.
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