Hi Jaques,
I can relate to your situation. I have been outside of working life since the year 2001. Lost countless days to sleep, spent most of it in isloation, and here now at almost 37, the full force of the suffering i have endured in my life is becoming apparent.
Only through the support of two loving parents, have i been able to keep myself from sinking into poverty. Outwardly, people think I am doing ok, however, I am suffering profoundly. My future has currently come under question, my career path, after 7 long years of study, wherein i bravely showed up, in spite of my anxiety, committed myself, may now amount to nothing.
My entire identity and self of selfhood is attached to my developing professional self. I gave myself to it completely. At this moment, I am not in a small unit, alone, again, every single day of my life, on a bed, as have I spent most of my life so far.
The intensity of the depression and feeling of isolation I am experiencing right now, I did not know was in the realm of human experience.
For anyone reading this. I could never have anticipated this. Just like any other person, i was absolutely confident i was destined to live a moderate, happy life, working life.
I have reached a point, where I cannot find avenues out of this- which is very concerning to me.
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